There are days when you don’t feel like things are going your way.  There are times when you try and try but don’t seem to get anywhere.  Keeping motivated when there are unexpected delays and setbacks when you least expect them is tough.  These scenarios describe most of you at some point in your life, doesn’t it?  Some mornings you wake up and things just don’t feel….good.

When you are a martial art teacher and you experience those feelings, you must learn to push past them. After all, you are training others in a martial art and need to project a certain mindset and capability.  If you step foot in the dojang with worry, aggravation, or indifference on your face, everyone will know.  They will lose  confidence in your abilities if you don’t appear emotionally strong and in control.

The same applies in everyday life. You might wake up out of sorts, but is that how you want the world to see you?  And, when you feel that way, you also think that nothing is going to go right, that even if you want to excel, succeed, or move forward, that you can’t.  It projects in your demeanor and your personality.

When I go to class, I need to have the right focus.  I’m no longer Andrea.  I am the teacher.  I have to forget about my day-to-day issues, the work that’s piling up somewhere else, even my own family.  It is all about the students.  I can’t help them learn or be their best or overcome their trepidation if I don’t project confidence and control myself.  So, when a student is struggling, when he drops his head in discouragement and says “I can’t,” I must become a  motivator.

When you are discouraged, humiliated, or in a bad mood, there may be no one to encourage you. You will have to do that on your own, and it’s not easy when you’re already questioning your purpose or your abilities.

How do I keep the naysayer student inspired when he’s struggling? Here are a few ways I counteract the “I can’t” syndrome. You can apply these same concepts to your own life when you are feeling….well, like you can’t do it, whatever “it” is.  You can gain momentum in a positive direction. You can find the right answers for you. You can combat the “I can’t” mindset.

1.  Verbalize Encouragement.

When the word’s “I can’t” roll off a student’s tongue, I battle back with my own words.  In a positive and encouraging way, I let him know that he is capable of doing anything that he wants.  I remind him that negative thinking is just an illusion created in his mind when in fact he has every body part that he needs to perform.  I say the four words that will help him the most:   “You can do it!” and “I believe in you.”

When you hear the words “I can’t” emerge in your mind, you must not let them sit there for long.  Like a sponge, your mind starts to soak the words and feelings in like they are truths.  You can convince yourself of anything through your own words.  When you are learning something new and feel uncomfortable, you can easily get discouraged if after some practice the results still seem minimal.

When you feel like you “can’t,” no matter what it is, remember the words that I share with my students and know that I really mean them.  “You can do it!” and “I believe in you!”  Say them aloud to yourself because sometimes all the encouragement that you need to get up and try again is knowing that someone believes you can do it and believing in yourself.

2.  Identify Improvement.

Clearly,  just saying words or changing what’s being thought in your mind, will not change everything but they are a start.  In class, the next phase is to watch and analyze the skill with which the student is having difficulty. What he may be doing wrong can be as simple as stepping back on the wrong foot or swinging his shoulders too much during a punch.  Small details can often make or break a skill or technique.

When teaching, I try to give clear-cut examples of how to fix the issue and even demonstrate it myself.  That way he can see exactly what he is doing wrong and also see exactly how it should look.

Maybe you are doing one small thing wrong.  Maybe what is holding you back from success is a small fear, a worry, or an insignificant imperfection.  Maybe you hold back from really trying, because it is too difficult, strenuous, or time-consuming to put forth the effort.  Once you identify the missing link where improvement can take place, you can move forward.  You will forget all about “can’t” because you are focusing instead on how to move past what you are doing wrong.

Think of others who exemplify what you are trying to accomplish.  Who who inspires you, provokes you to be better, sets you on fire?  That’s a good step to take once you identify where you’ve been going wrong all along.

3.  Remember Other Positive Situations.

So, what if negativity is still looming for the martial art student who is stuck in thinking he can’t be as good as everyone else, or can’t seem to get a skill correct? The next option is to remind him about other examples of how he learned or improved on some other skill or difficult technique in class.

I say, “Remember when you first learned a side kick and you were unable to kick with the heel of your foot?  Look at how you well you do it now. If you can learn that, you can learn anything.” Specific examples help the student understand that there have been other situations in class where he said “I can,” and believed that he was capable.  Whatever is standing in his way now, can be overcome, too.

If you are still stuck in a stinking-thinking place, step back from the issue where you are having difficulty, move away from the mood you are in, and do a little reminiscing.  Just yesterday things felt better.  Why?  What was different about yesterday?

Where were you last year at this time?  What good things happened then?  Maybe you were promoted, or earned an “A” in class, or wrote your first article that got published.  Perhaps just last week, someone commended you for a job well done, or smiled when you told a story.  When you remember that you have had many good accomplishments, and have faced other obstacles and found a way through them, then you slowly start to feel better about yourself.  Getting another good grade or finding a better career or learning one new thing does not seem insurmountable anymore.  You realize that you “can.”

4.  Read or Watch Something Motivational.

Sometimes motivation from a teacher does not work.  I can say as many positive things as I want to a student and he may just think, “she’s my teacher; she has to say that.”

There are many motivational books or movies that show an underdog excelling or exceeding expectations or an athlete who beat all odds.  There are many encouraging true stories of people with personal difficulties or who were in situations where improving was difficult, but they persevered and found success.  When a student feels like he is the only one struggling with learning or  becoming proficient, it’s helpful for him to look outside himself and know that others have felt the same way, but found a way to overcome.

I can’t tell you how many times I have been inspired to write a story, blog post, article or poem based on a motivational story I have heard, read, or seen.  I literally jump up at times to start writing what’s on my mind, after engaging in a conversation that is so uplifting and genuine that I can’t wait to share it with others.

The inspiration that we can pluck from others is priceless. To know that the human spirit is capable of so much more than that for which we give it credit.  Each of us has the capability to be great. Each of us has the opportunity to excel.  Utilize the inspiration of others and apply it like a band-aid over your lack of belief in yourself, and once that lack is healed, you can move on.

5.  Chart Your Progress.

Yes, it might be a little more work than usual, but helping the negative student chart his progress is a significant and concrete way to show him he is well on his way to “I can.”

I can take a quick “before” video of the student working on a particularly daunting skill, then some time later shoot an “after” video to show him how he has improved over time, or how close he is to getting the technique exactly right. I  can provide him with a checklist that outlines the various movements or subtleties involved. If it is a single skill, like a kick, that he feels he cannot master, I  can provide him with a the components of the kick. Perhaps the biggest issue is that he is not practicing at all at home.  Knowing that I’m going to check on the skill or review his checklist will help prompt him to practice more which will show more results and boost his confidence.

How can you chart the progress of your particular “can’t?” There are a few simple ways to watch yourself grow.  Keep a journal that chronicles how you are moving along through a certain project so over time you can see how the subtle changes along the way have helped you improve in the areas you thought you could not improve.  If losing weight is the  issue where you feel you “can’t” improve, then take photos of before and after because they will help you keep going.  If you start seeing a few small results, they can snowball into a belief that you can finally conquer that issue.

When I started blogging, my first goal was to write inspirational or helpful articles that others could read and apply to their own lives.  This is still my goal; however, I was also concerned that no one would read them.  Maybe “I can’t” affect anyone, I thought.  I struggled with thinking that anything I wrote would have an impact on anyone, anywhere. I’ve watched my stats on my website grow over time.  There were days when only a handful of readers took notice.  Maybe none!  But, I kept steadfast.  I applied a new mindset and that was if only one person read my blog and felt better, found a solution, or just enjoyed an article, then I was going in the fight direction.

I don’t have thousands of readers, like some bloggers.  But, gone are the days of only five or ten views on my site. I’ve made steady improvement. Not monumental for some bloggers, but for me, it’s amazing.  Being able to chart my progress has helped me see that I can be a positive influence, just the way I had hoped.

Find a way to chart your progress.  You will be surprised how far you have come from when you first started.

6.  Appreciate and Applaud.

When I have faith in my student’s abilities and combine that with some  extra encouragement to help him find success, then I am being a true teacher.  Teaching is more than just passing on knowledge, sharing information, or configuring a lesson plan.  A good teacher is a person who can  teach with a core belief of success, and with a promise of personal accomplishment, for his students.

When the student who previously struggled starts to see improvement, he also starts to believe in himself. That’s when the payoff happens. Maybe he isn’t the absolute best in that skill, and even  still struggles with it, but, he knows when he has reached his personal best. He knows when the table has turned,  and he has conquered the very thing that has been holding him back. He knows everything will right itself when he finally agrees, “I can.”

When he reaches this pinnacle, I try to give him the acknowledgment and appreciation that he deserves. I tell him how proud I am or give him a high-five, or talk to him after class.  Then, I give myself a pat on the back too, for being the mentor that I am called to be. Not every student lacks belief in himself.  Many students just assume they will achieve proficiency in the skills, after some work and practice.  For the student who stumbles with  confidence, then it’s my responsibility to get him over that hump.  After that, the issue of “can’t” starts to resolve.

If you question yourself, or if you find yourself saying “I can’t,” then start to apply some of these principles.  Verbalize self-encouragement, identify where you have improved over time, find inspiration in others, chart your progress, then step back to appreciate.  You will be happy to know that even on the worst of days, you can improve, make a difference, reach a goal, or get better at something.

If there is anything that martial art teachers need to teach their students, it is “I can.”  It is the same thing you need to remind yourself.  When you say “I can,” then you’ve made a proclamation that will reverberate through each and every day of your life, and you will never need to say “I can’t,” ever again.

Anything is possible.

Andrea

 

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