A martial art master has grace at every level. She knows her martial art internally and externally. She has studied and practiced and will never be perfect.  In fact, as each day passes she realizes there is no such thing as perfection, but the journey towards personal excellence is what matters. The more she massages her craft, the more she sees the inadequacies. When her body and spirit mingle effortlessly, she is at peace.

Maybe you don’t have everything it takes to be a martial arts master. What if you never even stepped foot in a dojang? That’s okay. If you can conquer these seven essential martial art-related life skills, you can be the master of the most important person ever…You.

1.  Patience

When you spar for the very first time, your goal is to score a point.  Having little experience, you rush in frequently and get clobbered every time.  You think the best defense is to immediately strike, yet you miss and get hit instead. If you can learn to apply patience, you can wait until the time is right.  You will score the point eventually.  Perhaps it will take a few tries until you figure out the timing but timing is everything.  When you get it figured out, you’ll never rush in again unprepared.

Daily life requires patience.  If you are like me, when you get tired, perhaps patience is the last virtue you can uphold. Everything seems frustrating when you are tired.  What about on a normal day when tiredness is not a factor?  Do you get mad at the slow person at the counter? The waitress who can’t seem to deliver your food timely?  The car in front of you?  At work, do you want to punch and knock out an ego-driven co-worker?

Well, you are not alone. All of these scenarios carry the weight of impatience.  Like learning to control yourself in the ring, once you get your tempo in check in life, patience becomes easier. It is a skill and an art that requires practice, so start now and see if you can’t score that point.

2. Stamina

Stamina is about energy. I read blogs on occasion, where a karate student describes a sparring match in which one opponent after another enters the ring to keep the student fighting consistently for a period of time. It’s draining. Energy is a must.

Your daily life requires stamina, too.  Doesn’t it feel like responsibilities and difficulties are thrown at you, one after another?  When do you have time to even catch your breath?  Maybe a financial struggle, a medical issue, or an argument with someone drains you.  From all angles your energy gets used up.

You can gain stamina by focusing on the positive.  Remember, we all have struggles; no one is exempt.  Yours may seem overwhelming, but the next guy is just as upset about what he is facing.  In a sense, you are bonded with the rest of humankind because of your struggles and issues.  Compassion and understanding evolve from this realization.  Stamina in life requires that you continue on your path and hop over the hurdles as they present themselves, reserving your energy for the toughest of obstacles.  Learn to first dodge the smaller issues in life or divert them quickly.  Don’t get overwhelmed and don’t get discouraged.

3. Endurance

Endurance is more about long distance toleration.

I don’t think anyone can disagree with the fact that martial arts requires a certain level of endurance, along with stamina.  In my program, we stretch, work some kicks and punches, try out some new aikido moves, add in some forms and sparring.  Not every moment of class requires endurance, but practicing form after form does, and sparring, too.  Going the distance is important.  Learn to structure your training so it is functional and efficient, and maximizes your endurance and your stamina.

Endurance is nothing new to you.  You have a race to run every day that requires endurance. It is your life.  Some days will seem difficult and you may want to just throw your hands up in the air and give up.  It’s easy to tell yourself that holding out for something good, in the long run, is not worth it.  Your patience wanes.  You don’t have the faith that things will work out.

Those tough days?  Those are the opportunities for you to increase your endurance. If you’ve ever played a board game, you know that even if you are knocked back to the beginning you still have a chance to win.  Endurance in life works the same way.  While you may find yourself focusing on a negative situation, you can find strength instead of weakness in it. Even if you get knocked all the way back to the beginning of something, eventually strength grows through your character and your personality, and allows you to keep running the race.  Getting knocked down a time or two means nothing in the scheme of things.  Endure and hang in there for the distance, and it will eventually turn around.

4. Acceptance

In martial arts, there are many opportunities for acceptance:  acceptance of your style, your instructor, your school, and fellow students. It includes acceptance of learning, evolving, and being humble, and acceptance of making mistakes. The best part about learning a martial art, for me, is becoming more accepting in all of these ways.

Another important part of acceptance with regard to a martial art is to find a learning environment that is accepting of you.  How do you feel when you are practicing or in class? Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel welcomed? Do the styles and concepts make sense to you, or fit who you are? You can’t advance through a martial art if it does not exemplify the skills, techniques, or mindset that you are seeking.

Acceptance in life is doubly important.  You face it everyday.  First, you must accept yourself.  You have flaws. Can you be accepting enough to move past them and to use them as learning experiences?   Some people get in a rut of thinking they are not as good as others or can’t compete with others. That is simply not true.  When you accept yourself for who you are, then you will find new pathways and openings for opportunity in your life. What others do or say will not hinder you if you are true to yourself.  Another point scored.

5. Balance

Often, when warming up and stretching for class, we practice some balance drills.  I ask the students to hold one knee up and pull it into their bodies, standing solely on the other foot.  Or, I may tell them to extend a kick and hold it.  When they start to wobble, I explain that if they find a focal point, a small spot on the wall or on the floor, and stare at it, they will calm down.  They should think of their feet as having roots and imagine those roots extending from the bottom of their feet until deeply rooted in the ground.  The imagery helps and soon they find a sense of balance.

Finding balance in life works much the same way.  A focal point, or goal, helps.  Feeling rooted in your day-to-day tasks while planning for the future brings stability. You may feel, at times, that you are only standing on one foot, or that the ground beneath you is shaky.  Have no fear.  You can regain your balance once again after a little soul-searching and some decision-making that will set you back on the right track again.

Find your focal point and the balance will come.

6. Courage

I admit, taking a martial art class for the very first time requires some courage.  Inside are students, more trained than you, an instructor whose style you’ve never witnessed, and a training regimen that makes absolutely no sense. I remember my first day of class and thinking that there was no way on earth I would ever do THAT!

Once you get past the initial thoughts, these fears will subside. You will only need to take that big courageous leap of faith in the beginning, but that is the most important time.  In the beginning, you will decide if it is the right school for you. It takes some of that patience and  acceptance discussed earlier, but you can overcome your anxieties.

There are so many ways to apply courage to your life.  Experiencing it on a smaller scale, on your first day at the dojang, for instance, can help prepare you for some of the bigger battles you may need to face.  Prejudice, bullying, negativity will all require some courage to overcome.  No one wants to face those things, but in one shape or size something uncomfortable will pop into your life that will require a certain amount of courage.

Even the nicest person in the world will get hit hard by some kind of negativity.  Gossip, stress, or even untruths will happen to the best of you.  The best of intentions will be met with contrary opinions.

The good news is that you have courage already.  It’s like the wind.  You can’t see it, but it’s there.  The trick is to get it to whirl around you like a protective barrier so your shield becomes your courage and not your fear.

7. Spirit

There is a spirit about a martial art.  Until you realize that, you are just practicing an action. Practicing technique and skill over and over is very valuable, but is partially useless if there is no spirit guiding you.  Anything combined with spirit is more useful.  Spirit can be a positive energy, a personal perspective, or even a thought process.  It is a motivator that guides your foothold and sparks your interaction with the world. When spirit is seen in the martial artist, she stands out among the rest and is noticeable because she exudes a certain aura when she practices her martial art.

Spirit? Aura? Yes, you have them.  Think about a cheerleader at a sporting event.  Her job is to cheer for the team and get you involved in the hoopla.  She does chants and jumps and builds human pyramids to get your attention and remind you how important it is to inspire the team with positive energy.

You must use your spirit to encourage yourself.  On your darkest days, when you don’t feel like talking to anyone, or you feel like a failure, or you wish you change a circumstance that can’t be changed, you need the most self-encouragement.  Seek your spirit that sits deep within. There, you will hear the voice prompting you to accept your mistakes and move on.  Spirit seeps into your life without you knowing it.  After any bad event you normally find your way back to feeling normal again and enthusiastic.  It is because your internal spirit, or your deepest self, started to emerge and push you in the right direction.

Each of you has a spirit that is personal and unique and created just for you.  Cheer yourself on.  Cheer others on.  Everyone needs a cheerleader.

Life

Life is difficult at times.  That’s why attributes like patience, stamina, endurance, acceptance, courage, balance, and spirit are so important. There are times when they just appear, and do a spectacular job at getting you back on the right track. Other times, you need to seek them out.  Either way, they are essential life skills that I’ve found through my study of martial arts, and when I apply them to my life I notice a significant change for the better.

Life is always going to have ups and downs.  It is always going to present an obstacle or a barrier just when things seem to be flowing nicely.  You are going to feel every emotion there is, and you are going to have to deal with surprises and unexpected situations.  By taking these seven concepts and learning more about how they affect you personally, you will be a step closer to a more positive view of yourself and of life, even when a downturn takes place.  While others will find self-pity or self-doubt in themselves, you will persevere knowing that there are some life skills that are part of martial art traditions, that can help you control how you feel, and how to handle a struggle.

Good days or bad, gather up these 7 life skills, and carry on.

Andrea