I rarely watch television, but I did last night, and a talent type show was on. A young man who claimed that he had been bullied for various reasons in his youth, stood up in front of the huge crowd and sang a love song that sent the audience to its feet with tears in their eyes. His rendition was so moving. It reminded you of every time you felt insignificant in your own life, and how much you wanted to break free of that. It was Queen’s song, “Somebody to Love,” and it asks, “Can anybody find me somebody to love?”

It’s the question we all ask at some point in our lives, or maybe ask to ourselves. Self-love, confidence, and perseverance are not always natural. There are times in your life when you think that you will never reach your dreams or goals. Over and over, you deny yourself personal greatness because of the messages you choose to proclaim to yourself:

• No, I can’t
• No, I’m not as good.
• No, I cannot be successful.
• No, this will never work.
• No, I don’t have enough time.
• No, I don’t know how.

How honest of you! By proclaiming these messages loudly, you are 100% accurate. You cannot do, be, or become any of it. That is because you have programmed your mind to believe that. None of it will ever come to fruition.

When I began martial arts 27 years ago, I almost scoffed, “I can never do that!”  I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe it looked too difficult, or maybe I was too wrapped up in limitations and a closed mind. Perhaps I thought that at age 26, I was too old to start. Honestly, I don’t know now what was in my mind then, except it was a negative, self-proclamation that I was not capable of learning a martial art.

Thankfully, I changed my thought process, because I suddenly realized that I was creating a self-prophecy. I was following the same path I had followed all of my life, and that was a fear of stepping out, trying, or experimenting with my goals. It was fear that steadfastly held me back from everything and anything that I ever wanted to do. I stayed quietly in the shadows of everyone else. When I decided to give martial arts a chance, I actually decided to become the person I always wanted to be. I admired those who were leaders, who embraced their own uniqueness, and who achieved because they were not afraid to try. That was the person I wanted to know in myself.

Negativity will always come true. It will always guide you in the opposite direction of where you want to go. You must take the actions necessary to improve and conquer your fears. If you want to specialize in a martial art technique, start practicing and then share it. If you want to win a tournament, put in the effort and see what happens. If you want to be the best student in class, stay focused. If you want to earn the next belt level, prepare.

This is just part of the equation to your success. For any of this to happen, you must believe in it, 100%. Your thought must be, “Yes, I can do this!”  Don’t allow your negative self-talk to derail you.

When you embrace the positive, you will emerge as a new person. All of the fears that I had in my younger years about trying, or making mistakes, kept me from putting forth 100% effort. All of that diminished after I learned martial arts. Why? Because martial arts taught me that fear is an inhibitor that will never allow me to find personal success. Secondly, martial arts taught me that I was fully capable of personal achievement. These two factors that I learned from martial arts opened up the opportunities in my life that I did not even knew existed. That simple change, from negative to positive, from disbelief to belief, changed who I was forever (continue reading below).

Every martial artist has a personal expression that cannot be denied, but only if he opens himself up to it. The message must always be, “Yes, I can.” In your most compromised moment, change your thought process to what you can do, not what you cannot.

You have to let go of the past sometimes, in order to move forward to a more positive life. The former bullied singer who sang last night about wanting to find love, let it all out. In his vocal expression, every emotion and fear flowed out of him with such brilliance, that you could not turn away.One whose confidence was shaken in the past, for any reason, describes each and every one of us.

Our job from here out, is to not just embrace what we are taught through martial arts about the mind, body, and spirit, but to live them. Find the confidence to belt out the best rendition of who you are.

Andrea