Deciding on a great direction for your life often falls into place once you make a simple choice.

Perspective and mindset are similar. Perspective is how you see yourself and the world around you. Mindset is about how you decide to the see yourself and the world around you. They go hand in hand, and if you want to better your overall outlook, become more positive, or find a happier way of living, you have to take a closer look at both of these in your life.

What do you notice the most about yourself? Usually, our perspective is upside down. We easily see the negative and the attributes that we like the least, first. I often tell the story of how I always disliked my legs. Growing up, it seemed to me that the pretty girls had long and very slender legs. Mine was more like tree trunks. I wanted to fit into the pretty category, but felt my body type precluded me from that.

It was not until I became an adult, and well into my martial art years, when I finally started to realize the truth. My tree-trunk thighs could be sculpted into martial art legs that had strength, power, and reach. While never overly flexible, I continued to work on both strength and flexibility in the area of my body I have always liked the least. I realized that my perspective was skewed. We all have gifts and talents, but for some reason we destroy them with our negative thoughts.

As a martial artist, perspective is very important in how you see yourself. Many times, students begin to learn a martial art because they are missing the confidence factor, or because they want to defend themselves, if necessary. They are there partly because their perspective needs enhancing. They need to know and believe that they can set and achieve goals, and become more proficient in their lives in different ways. As they progress, their confidence builds. Why? Because they see accomplishment. With accomplishment comes confidence. Their perspective begins to shift in a positive direction.

This change in perspective allows them to also modify their overall mindset. They equate martial art accomplishments with life in many different ways. Their role as spouse, student, worker, friend, or whatever it may be, more fully develops. No longer do they see more negative than positive attributes. Rather, they see their life thriving with opportunity.

One small change in perspective creates huge opportunity. If I had never overcome my dislike of my undesirable legs, and if I did not eventually embrace who I am, knowing that individuality is beautiful in itself, I would never be any of the other things I am today: writer, motivator, speaker, life coach, and instructor. You can see that one negative self-image perspective can hinder a lifetime of personal greatness.

As you read this today, what is the first thing that comes to mind if asked to describe yourself? Is the first thought a negative one, an apologetic one, or a “but” statement?

• I’m too _____ to be _____
• I wish I were _____ so I could ______
• I’m a good at _______ but I am ______

Fill in the blanks. What are your excuses for not doing the things in life you want to try, or working toward the person you want to be?

Some of you wonder what your “dream” is, or how you can begin to change your life in order to find happiness and fulfillment. The truth is, no one can describe your dream for you. Even if you think you do not know what it is, it is awaiting your recognition. To find it, you must push back on the negative perceptions of yourself, and recognize that you are as good and as qualified as everyone else, and completely worthy to pursue your dreams and goals.

Deciding on a great direction for your life often falls into place once you make a simple choice. The first step is to try something that sounds fun, exciting, or worthwhile to you. What sounds really interesting to you? Do you like to garden? Is fitness important? Photography? Dance? Ice Skating? Sports? Writing? Pottery? Racing? Skydiving? Flying an airplane? You get the idea. Pick one in your own list, and give it a try.

Fear and lack of self-confidence are the two biggest hindrances why people are afraid of trying new things. I think these often stem from childhood issues or fears, when being ridiculed, or not picked to be included in a group, were very important to the ego. Or they may infiltrate adulthood if told that you are not good at something, or harshly criticized. I dislike the word failure, but if it is in your vocabulary, just know that each failure is one more step toward success. It is a learning process that establishes in what direction you need to go, or what to modify in order to follow the right path.

I have practiced kick after kick many times. There was a time when my kicks were lower, and my balance was still not where I wanted it to be. I guess you could call that a failure if you are comparing it to someone whose kicks naturally touch the clouds with little effort. What I decided to call it was a challenge. I began to challenge myself to smaller goals, to kick slightly higher, extend and hold it longer, or use weight training to build the strength in my legs. The challenge helped me improve in a positive way, by focusing on what I can do, not what I cannot.

Not every magazine for which I want to write accepts my articles. Not every person cares about my approach in life through martial arts. None of that matters. What is important are the magazines that want to publish my articles, and the people who want to find positivity in their own lives. The denials along the way help pave the right path for my future. Martial arts have changed my perspective about myself in many ways. I think less about what I don’t like about myself, and more about what I do like.

You are braver than you think. You may not fully believe that right now, but it is true. Believe in yourself.  Actively change your negative thoughts to positive ones. Take what you currently like about yourself and place it at the top of your list, not the bottom. Your dreams and goals are valid. You can find fulfillment in your life if you take the time, and make the effort, to step outside your comfort zone. Changing your perspective changes everything.

xoxo

Andrea

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My new book, The Martial Arts Woman, is now available. Purchase through my e-commerce store: http://themartialartswoman.storenvy.com/ or on Amazon!

The Martial Arts Woman shares the stories and insights of more than twenty-five women in the martial arts, and how they apply martial arts to their lives. Unlike most other martial art books, the reader will catch a glimpse into the brave and empowered woman who dares to be all that she can be. Many of these women had to overcome great societal or personal challenges to break into the men’s world of martial arts. This book will motivate and inspire you to go after your goals in life and to fight through every challenge and defeat every obstacle. The Martial Arts Woman will open your eyes to the power of the human spirit and the martial art mindset that dwells in each of us!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Andrea F. Harkins is a  writer, motivator, life coach, martial artist, and public speaker. Her book, The Martial Arts Woman, is now available at themartialartswoman.storenvy.com or on Amazon!

Andrea is Internationally known for her positivity through martial arts efforts and outreach, and her writing. She is currently a contributor for Think Positive Magazine, as well as a columnist for Martial Arts Illustrated UK, The Martial Arts Guardian (UK), the World Martial Arts Magazine, MASUCCESS, Conflict Manager, Martial Arts Business (Australia), The Parrish Village News, and her blog, The Martial Arts Woman.  Contact her through this website’s CONTACT ME page for information on public speaking, autographs, and life coaching.