Balance
On occasion, someone thanks me for being brave enough to put myself out there on social media. When I began my social media journey 8 years ago, I never really thought of it that way. But back then there were not many women promoting themselves or their martial art or allowing a personal glimpse into their lives due to the potential for unnecessary criticism.
I suppose it is even strange to use the word “potential” and “criticism” in the same sentence. After all, potential is a positive (like opportunity and growth) while unnecessary criticism is a negative. Being on social media works out sometimes, but other times, it feels like a burden. Just as in life, it is key to find balance before you find bravery.
A Big Word
Bravery is a big word. It almost rolls off your tongue as easily as thunder rolls off creamy gray summer storm clouds. It’s presence screams, “bam!” Bravery rolls out of you suddenly and unpredictably.
It is not something you plan, nor is it something you really call yourself, ever. Bravery is about what others see in you. If they see it, rest assured, you deserve the mighty designation. Your bravery shines brightly whenever you make decisions that are uniquely yours.
You don’t need to be on social media to be brave. These days there is space for everyone to find their niche and their own tribe. Rather, to be brave is to acknowledge your passions and beliefs, and then to weave them into your life. Bravery is the ability to acknowledge what is right for you in the midst of opposite minds, and to announce, “That is not for me… but this is.”
Bravery is making the choices that work for you. Being on social media is not exactly the kind of “brave” we all have in mind when we hear the word “bravery” and it is not for me, either. I can assure you that life’s curve balls created the path for what people see as my bravery far before social media ever mattered. Bravery is built upon your fears and failures. It is cultivated in your lowest moments. It grabs a hold of you when you can no longer take being told that you are not good enough or that you will never succeed.
Suddenly, you stand tall and remind yourself that none of that matters. You recognize that today is the only chance you have to make a difference. There is no turning back time. You must make the choice to step forward and take the chance to push beyond the miserable, mistaken naysayers who stand in your way.
New Bravery
I’m not brave for being on social media. If I am brave about anything, it is for showcasing women in martial arts at a time when no one even knew their stories. That was 8 years ago. Today, I must find a new, brave path, as do you. You see, bravery co-exists with actions and fortitude and the ability to adapt.
Like me, you already have the tools for bravery. In fact, at this very moment in time, you are braver than you realize.
xoxo
Andrea
____________________________________________________
Pick up my motivational books and listen to my podcast here:
The Martial Arts Woman book: https://amzn.to/3inNiuQ
Martial Art Inspirations for Everyone: https://amzn.to/3irRjyy
How to Start Your Own Martial Art Program: https://amzn.to/3zf0aJB
The Martial Arts Woman Podcast: https://anchor.fm/andrea-harkins
This is a beautiful post, Andrea, thank you for sharing it! I sometimes pause to wonder at the parallels and overlaps of Positive Psychology and Martial Arts Philosophy. They offer some thought-provoking ways of exploring character. Charles Hackney did some work on their relationship. When it comes to Bravery, Positive Psychology (at least one viewpoint in a rapidly evolving field) locates it as a character strength under the virtue of (moral) Courage, alongside Authenticity/Honesty/Integrity, Zest, and Perseverance. What differs is that martial arts offers a path to embodying these character traits. I think there is plenty Positive Psychology can learn here… your voice is very much one that is needed in the practical application of our training to real life today.
Thank you for your very kind words, Claire!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Andrea.
They very much resonate with me.
Brave? Honest?
Honesty is a big contributor to my bravery and the need for it in my life.
As the years pass I almost demand it, in order for something to remain present in my life.
Truth and authenticity are the two key attractions for me in others.
I recognise when it’s not there and that is what motivates me to make ‘brave’ decisions.
I’d rather run naked in the light, than hide away in the shadows, holding the hand of untruth.
Brave is stepping forward.
It’s in our DNA to seek fault in others and to criticise.
It takes a very emotionally intelligent being to perform otherwise.
Many of us are of course a continued work in progress.
Thank you for your beautiful response! It’s like poetry!