While at the dentist yesterday, I started to wonder…why do the things you need to do have to be so uncomfortable, even when they are good for you?

There I sat, with a stranger’s hands in my mouth, as I struggled to breath and not swallow at the wrong time, and somehow answer questions without moving my lips. It was a struggle for a “cleaning.” It wasn’t what you think of when you consider a “cleansing.” It didn’t feel good or refreshing. It was not like a moment of yoga or meditation, although I tried to relax and not pay attention to the vibrating noise and the woman with the magnified glasses staring down on all my imperfections.

Then, of course, it dawned on me. The life lesson.

Everything good is worth the struggle.  Everything must be cleansed along the way to keep it working and flowing.  We apply it to many aspects of living, but not always to life.  Every cleansing requires getting rid of something and it is the “getting rid of” part that requires the effort. In the end, the result is meticulous.

When you clean or wash your car, it takes some work…the water, the soap, the sponges, the washing, the rinsing. When you clean your house or your boat or your yard, you must move through the menial, even uncomfortable tasks, to end up with the sparkling version of that place. A good cleaning can make the oldest house new, the antique chest distinguished, and the keepsake diamond sparkle.

It’s not unlike how a martial artist evolves. He enters into a new world and there is some doubt and some concern over what it will entail. While he is open to the opportunity, he knows there is a journey ahead that will be rigorous. He’ll be cleansed, so to speak. He’ll learn to focus and follow, create and cultivate, perform and portray. There will not be many days when he does not think about applying his martial art to his life. That is the natural progression from learning the mechanics of the art to implementing it as a lifestyle.

Each new skill is difficult. Who knew standing on one foot, raising the other knee and sticking a kick required so much muscle, balance, flexibility, and focus? What about the martial art that seemed so slow and controlled, yet it requires so much concentration and fluidity? That stick or that sword is difficult to maneuver without understanding the basics first and practicing. You want the final result; but, getting there is the work. Getting there is the cleansing, the hands in your mouth, so to speak; the magnification of your imperfections before you can possibly polish it.

The sense of “self” is stripped away, removed, and instead replaced with a mindfulness. It’s a scrubbing no student ever expects and when it happens, it feels like a personal revelation. It takes some aches and pains. Hours of practice. Class time. Partner work. Exercise. Stretching. Movement. Strengthening.

None of this martial art cleansing happens quickly. It could take years to infiltrate a student’s life. He may wake up one day and realize his life has changed for the better. Perhaps confidence, preparedness, or understanding has quietly seeped in without recognition. Quietly, the martial artist feels a truthfulness about himself. After many, many years of practicing, the thought process becomes innate. Opinions are developed, formed, modified and confirmed.

You believe what you want to believe. You lean toward certain variants and pick favorites on which you want to concentrate. You make choices. It is life, mirrored and masked through the grace and power of a martial art.

If cleaning your car, or experiencing a transformation through martial arts makes sense, it only stands to reason that cleansing your life can have remarkable results too. When you start to feel complacent, bored, unsure, unsteady, lazy, then you’re getting a little too dirty. Maybe the dust is settling in and you didn’t notice. If you wait too long, the cleaning is going to be a lot more difficult.

On occasion, I’ve missed dusting the same spot in my house over and over. Then, when I finally notice it, I’m disgusted. “Wow! Look at that cobweb!” I start to wonder, “how much dusting have I missed?” One noticeable dirty spot leads to another.

So, how much dusting have you missed? Is your life filling with cobwebs, the kind that get sticky and hard to remove? It is easy to procrastinate and one day turns to the next and the cobweb grows and thickens. The longer you leave it, the more difficult it is to remove. It’s like a stain, or an ignoring an ailment. Time only makes it worse, if you do not address it.

Cobwebs come in many shapes and sizes. Small ones, like forgetting to smile, not listening to the sounds of nature, taking time to be thankful. Big ones, like feeling discontented, lacking communication, and foregoing compassion. All of these you can dust away although some will take more time than others. Once you start to remove them, the good things appear again. You smile and feel happy. You listen and see what is all around you. You are no longer limited by what holds you back because the dirt doesn’t hide the good things anymore.

Do you have to be a martial artist in order to cleanse your life?  No.  It’s one way.  One very good way.  There are others:

• Write a journal and explore what’s underneath your surface.  Reach down a little deeper to the emotions and feelings and see if they are impacting your life in a negative way.
• Exercise.  Walk, run, jog, weight lifting, rowing, cycling.  Anything.  It clears your mind.  It allows the opportunity to reflect quietly or think of nothing at all, both of which are very refreshing.
• Eat better.  I’ve cut out sodas and some sweets (having trouble giving those up completely).  I feel better.  I’ve tried to eat salads for lunch and less for dinner.  I notice a change.  You will, too.  It is not easy to change habits, but once you do, you create new, better ones.
• Get outside.  Many of you work indoors all week, or perhaps you live in a climate where it is still snowing in the middle of April.  I have a friend, a Taiji Master, who lives in Canada.  With the appropriate attire, he is outside practicing in the midst of snow and cold.  Find a way to get a few moments of fresh air, if possible.
• Make a personal, physical change.  Lose some weight. Cut your hair. Smile more often. Wear something different.  Little changes like this make you feel refreshed.
• Make it Whole.  What’s gone wrong?  What’s gone awry?  What is something you want to fix, make right, or make whole again?  When you delicately mend the holes in life with threads of love and forgiveness, you can sometimes redeem that which you thought was lost forever.

When you cleanse yourself, the goal is to get rid of impurities.  Think of it as washing away the attributes or aspects of life that are no longer useful to you.  It might mean closing the door to something or someone once you realize that opening it is harmful to you.  It might mean ending a bad relationship in order to start anew.  It could be facing an addiction and once and for all ending its power over your life.

Out with the bad.

In with the new.

Which all brings me full circle to how I’ve managed to cleanse some aspects of my life.  Like you, I am still struggling with indecisiveness, procrastination, and challenges.  I often feel lost about what to do in certain situations because, let’s face it, life is difficult.  Making certain choices can have an impact on those around you so gauging if you are bordering on cleansing or selfishness should be considered.  There are not many things that can keep you completely centered, but you must find the one thing that will remind you to dust the cobwebs off, or change in order to cleanse your life.

My centered focus was learned through martial arts.  While I’d like to say that karate, for me, has helped me keep the cobwebs at bay, the truth is it simply is a reminder to me that they are there and need some attention.  It is a string around my finger to live as a role model, a positive person, to provide insight and direction to those without the martial art experience or mindset as their guide.  The physical aspects of karate keep me working toward a healthy body, flexibility, and strength.  The mental aspects help me to make decisions, focus on goals, and drive myself to become the best I can be in as many areas as possible.  Each of these aspects helps me to wash away grime for which I have no other defense.

To move forward with your life cleanse, find that which touches on the physical and the mental.  Round out all options, consider all possibilities.

Sure, this is a lot of thought all from a dentist visit. Life sends us reminders all the time, if we take the time to see them and feel them.  I think I can find a life lesson from every place I visit, every emotion I feel, every cobweb I notice.  It is your responsibility to notice the clues, too.  What is poking or prodding you?  Maybe it is literal, like the instruments of the dentist scraping away the plaque on your teeth, or maybe it is just the push inside of you that says,“it’s time to make a change.”

Every one of you who reads my posts is helping me to cleanse my life.  If not for you, I’d stuff the life lessons under a pillow somewhere and let the cobwebs continue to form.  While martial arts truly does teach me many, many lessons, the best lessons I learn are because of you. You teach me to be humble and to share what I know, my wisdom, that I gathered from learning a martial art.

I suspect I’ll find myself back in the dentist’s chair in another six months or so ready for the next life lesson.  Until then, I’m going to start dusting the cobwebs, looking for the answers, and making the changes that I need to Win at Life.

Feel free to join me.

Andrea