Friends, every day I am amazed by the female martial artist. It’s not that she learns anything different from a man, but she interprets what she learns and applies it in a different way than a man. There is nothing right or wrong about it. There is nothing good or bad about it. It just is.

The woman who is a martial artist is unique. She is a fighter and an achiever. She strives to make not just herself better, but the world better. She shares and collaborates and is part of a bigger team of women all learning to apply martial arts to their lives. She sacrifices and she scrimps to find time to practice. She defines herself by overcoming obstacles that seem insurmountable. She does not back down.

There are many role models in the industry; women who have thrilling accomplishments, who are physically skilled, who specialize in a certain style, or who have knowledge and bravery all rolled into one.  Their stories of defeat and accomplishment, fear and bravery, pain and perseverance are the stories that help each and every one of us see beyond our own personal barriers.  This does not just apply to the famous women or high-ranking women in the arts.  It also describes women like me, who are “everyday martial artists.”  I have only three trophies from years ago to show any sense of what type of martial artist I really am; however, my true “trophies” are always the students that I teach, the ability to share my insights in writing, and my desire to share what I know with others.

I’m not exceptional or extraordinary; but, I am diligent.  I am willing.  I am capable. I am persistent.  I am caring. I am strong. These are the attributes of a martial art woman.

When I was 26 years old, I took my first martial art class.  Before that time, I didn’t have direction.  It was as if I was floating through my days without a clear picture of who I wanted to be.  I never thought about the fact that I was closed up, like a shell, never allowing my true potential to seep through.  It was fear.  Fear of failure and rejection will always deny your potential.  Being too concerned with how you appear to others, or that you will make a mistake, will keep you from ever stepping out from your own oppression.

Imagine having never kicked or yelled or punched before? That was me before my first class.  At first it seemed too intimidating.  I recall laughing while trying these skills, which is not uncommon for women who are self-conscious when first learning. When I teach self-defense for women, there is generally a lot of laughing, too, especially if we work on the bags or with each other on general defense skills.  This is because many have never explored any of these movements in their lives! Even through the laughter, and within the embarrassment, the women leave realizing something they had no idea about a few hours earlier. With a few good tools, they can overcome both physical and mental challenges in any situation.

Because a martial art forces you to develop yourself mentally and physically, it also allows you to extinguish the fears that you once held so closely, and replace them with positive energy and flow. It happens gradually and naturally, until one day you wake up and realize that you have changed.  This change for a woman can be dramatic because she has never practiced some of the skills that she learns in a martial art.  The physical aspects such as kicks and punches are empowering, and her body rhythm is new.  The gathering up of inner strength and the internal control bring her to a better understanding of herself, outside her role as daughter, sister, mother, aunt, friend, co-worker, wife, girlfriend, and any other.

This is the first relationship she actually explores with….herself.

It is the first time she looks beneath the layers of courtesy and kindness, and comfort and compassion, to reveal something deeper.  When is a woman ever expected or taught to dig deep into her mindset, to accelerate her actions, or to be independent and powerful?  She is rarely required to do so because it is not something taught in her upbringing, in school, or at work.  It is not until a martial art is introduced into her life that she learns who she really is.  This woman does not become some super hyped up freak or unnaturally antagonistic or aggressive.  Every bit of her training places subtleties in her life that can be used for a “purpose.” Just by learning a martial art, she is introduced to  a new self-confidence and self-reliance that may prevent her from being attacked because through her new awareness she limits her vulnerabilities. These are subtle defenses that she may not have experienced before.

Fighting or sparring is another part of the martial art training that is completely foreign for most women.  They seem to be at two extremes; either they love it or they hate it. The lovers embrace it and go full tilt; the haters are afraid and unsure.  Both the lover and the hater of sparring need refinement.  Both need to learn.  Both will conquer it, and for a woman, learning a fighting control is a gain.

Once they let their mental barriers down and just do it, they become more powerful than ever.

I miss the days when my heart raced knowing I would have to spar someone, or that I would be called up in front of class to perform in front of my peers, without warning.  I miss the adrenaline that pummeled through me when I learned how to flip someone over my shoulder, or roll out of an escape for the first time.  These “firsts” can never be re-lived, but they will never be forgotten.  They are the foundation for the woman I am today, the “martial arts woman” I have become.

Of course, not just martial artists need personal challenge and achievement.  You’re life is too short to push aside what is important to you.  In order to love others, be fulfilled, and reach your potential, you must cling to and seek your dreams and ambitions.  Martial arts are one way to do that, but there are others.  Take action and move toward the person you want to become, and be positive.  These two steps, on their own, can change your life forever.  You must apply both to accomplish your dreams and goals. Once I took action and started to believe in myself through martial arts, I found out what I had been missing all along.

Now, as a writer, I have the privilege of hearing the stories of many, many women who have applied martial arts to their lives.  They are instructors, specialists, defense experts, business women, school teachers, movie stars, stuntwomen, champions, friends, and neighbors.  Whatever they do in their lives is a constant measure of their passion for martial arts.  Even if they had a bad or devastating experience in the martial arts, which on occasion happens, they are often called back to it to try again and remedy what went wrong.  Once a martial art is internalized, there is no backing out.  It is as much a part of you as the color of your eyes or a birthmark.

In 2016, I will be releasing my book, “The Martial Arts Woman.” It will share stories and insights just like this one (and might even include this one!). The contributors for this book now have a voice through collaboration and I will also share all I know about applying martial arts, both mentally and physically, to life.

Female martial artists provide a vibrant and strong contribution to the industry.  Even though, at times, there may be only one woman in a martial art class, or even though women are still the minority of practitioners, what women do best is band together to make power through numbers. They become “one team,” even through their diversity of practice.  This team supports and encourages each other without ego and without controversy.  That is exactly why women make such a thorough and unwavering impact in martial arts and in the world. Their passion, insights, and approaches, are openly shared with each other, for the betterment of all women in the industry.

I’m proud of so many things in my life.  My family, my attitude, my friendships.  The ability to share what I know with others.  The opportunities to continually grow and learn.  Of all those wonderful proud moments, there is still only one that sets me apart and gives me a voice and a mission unlike any other role in my life. I’m proud to be A Martial Arts Woman.

Female martial artists, unite!

Andrea