Last year I went on a cruise and had a great time. I tried everything, ate too much, and enjoyed some sun. On the last night of the experience, however, I became sea-sick. I had to take some medicine and miss dinner. I spread out on the bed with a wet towel over my head. Everything so far had been so good, so balanced. Why, on the last night of my trip, did I have to suddenly feel so unsteady?  The waters were rougher and we were on a longer on-boat journey than before. On the other days, it was calm and we made stops at various destinations. In this long stretch of ocean, when the momentum of the ship changed to keep up with the crashing waters, I lost my sense of balance.

There is physical balance and mental balance. The inadequate physical balance is at first what I thought was most affected.  Truly it was the mental balance, the space in my brain, that just could not keep up with the moving sensations to which I was not accustomed. It basically knocked me out. When I tried to stand, I was dizzy, uneasy, and was forced to sit back down. It is amazing how it pulled the strength right from my body. I couldn’t get up or even move around without it worsening. Finally, after the medicine settled in and I rested, I once again gained my composure. I was able to go back out, but I was pale white and it was clearly noticeable that I had lost control of my balance, my center of gravity, and my healthy perspective for a period of time.

Here I thought all along that martial arts training had taught me to be a very balanced person. If karate has taught me anything, it is surely that I can stand on one foot without falling over…or, execute a kick, or move in a steadfast direction with a low stance. Everything in karate requires some element of balance. Kata and execution of skills, throws and falls, and even techniques that appear simple have no merit without balance. The only time I feel unsteady, like I’m losing ground, is when I learn something new and its awkwardness throws me off. Feeling myself a master of balance, I was baffled that I could not control my inner stability on the cruise ship.

Balance drills, like standing on one foot, help a student gain footing on solid ground.  They require focus and concentration. If you stare at a dot on the wall or a focal point, it helps because it brings your mental balance into focus.  Young students have a lot of difficulty with balance because their bodies are still growing.  Balance is learned through maturity and a growing process.  You grow into it without realizing it, and, it grows into you.

There are many balance lessons in martial arts.  A fighting art must be steady and sturdy.  Your hands and feet deliver blocks and blows with a strong, centered base.  The physical components of balance are the first steps in your training and are learned more easily than the mental.  I often instruct kids to stand up straight when they are performing a skill.  The tendency is for them to lean over to compensate for their uneasy sense of balance.  They must learn that it is the opponent’s body they must throw off-balance.  Throwing someone off-balance is much easier than you may think.  One small step, one turn of the shoulder, one movement of the hand and you can use another’s momentum and your evasiveness to your advantage.  For it to work, you must remain upright and balanced yourself.

Remaining upright and balanced in life is as important, as well.

Whatever throws you off-balance in life can be a challenge both mentally and physically.  If you are ill or you’ve found out you have cancer or a debilitating illness, suddenly your physical being is tossed about your life’s ship.  What happens mentally?  You begin to question yourself.  What is going to happen? Can others live without you?  Can you fully recuperate?  Questions knock you over and leave you queasy and unsure.  Your physical and mental balance have just crashed like a tidal wave.

The key to recuperation is to address the mental collapse first.   Some ways to do this are through meditation, reflection, and visualization.

• Meditation is quiet and internal.  Can you, for a few moments, think of nothing? Can you listen to your breath floating in and out and realize its powerful healing?
• Reflection includes thoughts about who you are and who you want to be.  It gathers up the love of others like a huge roundup and surrounds you.
• Visualization provides the opportunity to see yourself completely healthy, to believe that cure is available and energy restored.

Apply these mental concepts in any challenging situation.  Meditation, reflection, and visualization can steady a mental imbalance long enough to allow you to deal with the root cause of the turmoil.  If it is a physical ailment, what are the next steps? How can you resolve it?  Make a list of the facts and the possible solutions.  Decide what works for you.  No doctor knows you as well as you do.  How can you fight the physical once you allocate a positive approach to the mental?

Balance on unsteady ground is possible even in the worst moments if you make it a priority.

Other balance issues in life stem from disappointments, failures, and set-backs.  Each of these has the power of a huge, crashing wave.  They can send you reeling through a current from which recovery is difficult to maneuver. Once you are out again and free from the constrains of the magnificent tide, you have the chance to find steady ground.   It is this opportunity that leads you where you need to be.  It is this recovery that opens the door to resilience in your balance and helps you stand upright again. Don’t ever be fooled into thinking you will be swirling forever.  Even the tides and currents settle at some point.

Karate balance and personal balance are helpful in sustaining your day-to-day living.  Nothing is more important than the balance that you apply to your life.  It will mean the difference between energy or fatigue; excitement or dread; ups or downs.  Any situation is capable of being positive or negative and only you can decide which one you will seek.  You may need to apply a few new techniques to your life to get the responses you would like.  Sleep more if fatigue settles in. Focus on the good if dread starts to impinge.  Look up at what opportunities exist by examining how far you’ve come in a certain period of time. You will always experience worry, indecision, and frustration.  That is part of being human.  You are also capable of turning things around.

You also don’t need to have a victim mindset or dig yourself into a hole over some criticism.  While it is difficult to accept judgment or instability in your life, you can manage it and end up a better, stronger person because of it. There are times I’ve been judged or ridiculed or analyzed or reviewed.  It never feels good walking into it, especially if you know it’s going to happen.  Another’s comments and the way they present them can either bolster you up and make you want to execute the necessary change, or they can shake you up and leave you lifeless.  Anytime constructive criticism comes my way, my first reaction is to defend and take it personally.  That is my personality.  Then, I let it rest.  I let it settle.  I usually see the light.  “Yup, that probably was not the right thing to do” and I realize my mistake.

The karate program I teach is a small family business.  My husband is the main instructor and sets up all the class plans.  Because I work a day job an hour away, I usually arrive to class a few minutes late.  It only makes sense that he is the head instructor and makes the decisions about content and management of students.  We are both leaders and both head-strong.  I would often arrive to class and then try to take over what I thought the class should be learning, even if it contradicted his plan.  One day he sat me down and told me that with all respect, he is the head instructor because he has the time to put the class plans together and he would appreciate it if I would follow his plan.

I was mystified and mad, too.  “I’m just as good an instructor!” I lamented.  “I’m just as much a leader!” I told myself.  All of this, though, was missing the point.  Nothing he said diminished my instructor or leadership skills.  My martial arts balance was wavering.  My internal balance was cascading.  I was thinking one thing, he was saying another. After I thought for a while, I saw his point.  It made sense.  I was just too stubborn.  His constructive criticism was really for the betterment of the program.  It was for fairness to our students.  In the end, it had little to do with me, except that I needed to back down and follow the plan he had so carefully crafted.

Sometimes, imbalance is of our own choosing in the way we handle a criticism or a review. Taking it personally can skew its meaning.  You must understand the basics to get past the criticism.  You can choose to get sea-sick, or get yourself back together and move forward so you can enjoy yourself and cruise along.

Balance affects everything you do, day in, day out.  When balance is compromised you can’t maintain your direction.  You have to remember that it is not the end of the world.  Just like the sea-sick day on my cruise ship, balance can be adjusted and localized again.  Once that happens, you will find solid ground. You no longer will take for granted the times in your life that seem easy.  Imbalance throws you off, but not forever.  A death of a loved one, your own illness, a trauma, a life-threatening situation, and even anxiety can upset your life; but, your battle through it is a learning point.  That is when you grow, change, make yourself better, accept and appreciate.

I’m planning another cruise for next year and I can’t wait! I’m going to plan ahead a little better. On the long days when we’re on the ship I’ll be more proactive and take the sea-sick medicine far in advance.  Now that I know what to do, it’s unlikely I’ll have to suffer that way again.  I know that I can find balance even on unsteady ground and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Finding balance in all you do is not impossible.  Adjust until you figure it out. Re-align so the queasy feeling goes away.  Take the steps to prepare for balance both mentally and physically by making good choices ahead of time or being proactive.  You can take control and do your best to find smooth sailing.

To Win at Life, take control, find your balance, and join me on this fantastic “cruise” a/k/a “life.”

Andrea