It is not a coincidence that opposites attract. Colors on opposite ends of the spectrum look miraculously wonderful together. Different personalities in relationships complement each other. The sky and the earth are worlds apart, and yet they blend together effortlessly.
Almost everything has an opposite. Happy and sad. Right and wrong. Light and dark. Up and down.
Struggle has an opposite, too. There is no particular word for non-struggle. The opposite which comes to my mind, to which I can personally attest, is strength. To have true strength of body and mind requires experiences, and those experiences shape who we are, and how we think. Have you ever emerged from a struggle to feel relief, truth, or freedom? Were you able to say, “I have conquered,” or “I have made it through?” That moment defines strength in a very intimate, personal, and powerful way, only to be understood by you.
None of us is exempt from struggle. In fact, we heavily weigh who we are based on our struggles as compared to others. Struggle often forces us to take one path or another. It can hinder us, or it can force us see a new perspective. Struggle never feels good. It is never easy. It does, however, remind us of how good we have it when life is in order. If you reflect for a moment, it will not take you very long to come up with how your own struggles have impacted your life.
Struggle is not a happy topic. Like an elephant in the middle of the room, however, it is a must to be discussed because we all need to figure out how to deal with it, and still keep positive. The very cool and awesome thing about struggle, is how it can actually change us for the better, or lead us to the correct decision. Like anything in life, you can choose the outcome of struggle to be negative or positive. You can wallow or you can rise. You can let it diminish you or thwart you, or you can face it and battle it, and turn it around. If you choose the latter, you find the meaning for it. Struggle equals strength.
PREPARE
In martial arts, struggle turned strength happens all the time. Kids overcome their shyness, only to excel in their practice. Women face fears about defending themselves, and learn the skills they need. Men take their protective instincts and apply them to practical and physical actions. Instructors face difficult business decisions, and find a way to improve and build. Not every struggle ends positively, but every struggle can strengthen and improve you.
One thing that you can do is prepare for struggle. Use the calm moments in your life to prepare. The next hurricane that whirls through your life and tries to suck your energy should be thought about now. Does a martial artist fight or spar in the ring without practicing skill after skill first so he can apply it to the fight when the time comes? Is he given a black belt before he takes the necessary steps of achievement and practice? Preparation and patience are key in reaching goals, and in overcoming struggles. Part of the preparation is to remind yourself that no struggle or obstacle can change who you are on the inside, nor can they remove your desire to use positivity as a tool. Prepare for the next storm now!
Struggles come in all shapes and sizes. Some call them mistakes, sins, fear or sadness. If you make a mistake, for instance, you have a few opportunities. Confess and apologize, don’t acknowledge it, pretend it didn’t happen, or blame someone else. Turning a mistake into a strength can only be accomplished in one way, through truth.
Truth is an attribute that portrays an important aspect about who you are. If you realize that everyone makes mistakes, then being truthful relieves a burden or struggle. Explaining that you were at fault, what happened, and why, defines your character much more positively than any of the other options. People will admire your courage and your willingness to accept your mistakes and seek to correct them.
A struggle may be perceived as a failure, or something you have tried over and over to accomplish. You may feel as if you cannot achieve a goal, that you are not worthy of success, or that you cannot dig deep enough out of a circumstance. All of this may actually drive you in another direction…the right direction. When you finally take the step in the new direction, you find exactly for what you have been looking all along.
I started writing when I was a young girl. I always had a vision far beyond my age. When other children were writing stories about ponies, rainbows, and fun, I wrote a poignant story about a nun who was quarantined due to illness in Italy in the 1800’s, and how lonely she was looking out the window of the hospital room door, as those in the hallway passed by. It was her struggle that made her a better person. It was her loneliness that reminded her so much of what she missed and how she would give anything to have back the moments she had taken for granted.
While I never delved further into the story about what happened to her, it is understood that she gained her health back solely because she was destined to help others through their loneliness. She had to understand what that meant. Both she, and I, learned so much about struggle to strength, in this story.
TODAY
Today, as you walk through life and face its ups and downs, keep in mind that struggles are defining moments. My newly released book, THE MARTIAL ARTS WOMAN, is all about struggle to strength, and overcoming situations that seemed insurmountable, in some instances. You have every ability to overcome your burdens and obstacles when you decide that setbacks are not forever. In the end, they may actually help you become the person you are meant to be.
Struggle first, and then move on. There is a better day ahead, and a newly empowered you waiting to emerge. Shake off what has been holding you back. That struggle may be just enough to finally push you to follow your dreams, or reach your goals.
Almost everything has an opposite. Focus on your strengths instead of your struggles. Once you decide to change your focus, a new, opposite direction may emerge in your life that will finally help you forge ahead.
Andrea
My new book, The Martial Arts Woman, is now available. Purchase through my e-commerce store: http://themartialartswoman.storenvy.com/ or on Amazon!
The Martial Arts Woman shares the stories and insights of more than twenty-five women in the martial arts, and how they apply martial arts to their lives. Unlike most other martial art books, the reader will catch a glimpse into the brave and empowered woman who dares to be all that she can be. Many of these women had to overcome great societal or personal challenges to break into the men’s world of martial arts. This book will motivate and inspire you to go after your goals in life and to fight through every challenge and defeat every obstacle. The Martial Arts Woman will open your eyes to the power of the human spirit and the martial art mindset that dwells in each of us!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Andrea F. Harkins is a writer, motivator, life coach, martial artist, and public speaker. Her book, The Martial Arts Woman, will be launched SOON!
Andrea is Internationally known for her positivity through martial arts efforts and outreach, and her writing. She is currently a columnist for Martial Arts Illustrated UK, The Martial Arts Guardian (UK), the World Martial Arts Magazine, MASUCCESS, Conflict Manager, Martial Arts Business (Australia), The Parrish Village News, and her blog, The Martial Arts Woman. Contact her through this website’s CONTACT ME page for information on public speaking, autographs, and life coaching.
This is a very inspiring post. Martial arts women are strong women. Keep empowering and inspiring others!
Thank you so much, James. I actually found this to be one of my favorites, as well.
You continue to read my mind. I, too, have had many struggles in my life. My husband’s brother passed away last night. Another struggle. We will decide today, after my husband undergoes his cancer test what we will do as far as if we will go up north to attend his funeral. My husband has Parkinson’s and I would have to do all the driving, or if we fly, we have to kennel, Bella. Life is a constant struggle. But, years back, I went to a wonderful psychologist for a long time. I was working ridiculous hours, traveling with my job, training multiple counties. But my psychologist was so great. She made me see that I was my own person. We got through the rough patches of my past and present. When Danny and I moved to Florida and I was pronounced with another illness, my neurologist suggested I see a therapist or someone to talk to because I had so much to deal with with my husband’s illnesses and my own. You know what I told him? I said no thank you. I have my church family now. I have my priest, (Father Jay). I could never go through opening myself up like I did with my doctor in Erie again. The pain was too difficult. I am strong now (even though I cry over everything), I have my faith and I continue to grow. Everyone has problems (struggles) in their life and you just have to learn how to deal with them. So, I have to pray and learn how to deal with them each day. And, Andrea, with the help and inspiration of people like you and Bible Study, I am growing each day. Thank you. I didn’t mean to rattle on but you do mean so much to mean and I thank you so much for your inspiration.
Thank you!
Beautiful and inspiring post Andrea! Your book must be on its way to Dubai. I can’t wait to read all these women’s stories!
On its way soon!
Ossu and thank you!