Is there something you have always wanted to try?  Something you have always wanted to do?  Let me tell you something.  Now is the time.

Do you want to learn to play an instrument?  Paint a picture?  Sing in a band?  Understand the difference between the taste of sweet wines? Do you want to a start a hobby, do woodworking, or float in a hot air balloon?  Maybe you want to play a sport, meet people from other parts of the world, or understand the meaning of life.

You may have a whole slew of excuses why now is not the time.  I understand,  because I play the same game myself.  I’m too tired to work on that.  I don’t have the time to commit.  I have to make dinner, drive to work, clean the house.

Or, you convince yourself it’s not the right choice and think that since no one else is doing it that it must not be a good choice for you either. Or, you have a fear of what you think others might think about you; not really what they think ( because you don’t really know that), but what you think they will think.  Figure that out!

If, twenty-five years ago, I did not take karate classes, would it really make that big of a difference in my life?  If I had not committed, devoted myself to it, faithfully attended, and practiced, would I be any different?

If I had not taken karate…

• I would not have the self-confidence I have today.  I no longer shy away from challenges.  I try to keep an open mind about what I want to do.  I don’t worry about what others think.  If I want to write a blog about a certain topic, I write it.  It’s usually because someone has inspired me or because I feel it can help someone else.  Before karate, I would have questioned myself so much that I would never written about anything for fear it would not be liked by others.

• I would not have any athletic experience in my life.  I never played a sport other than in gym class.  I never even realized there was an ounce of athleticism in my body.  When I took my first karate test from white belt to yellow, I was so serious that my rigid focus was pointed out to the other students as something they should try to achieve.  The first trophy I ever received in my life was for a best karate exam performance.  In the past several years I have participated in several 5k runs and personal fitness challenges.  I would never have considered participation in these things if not for some personal success in martial arts. 

• I would not have excellent flexibility or strength.  It’s so important as we age to maintain both strength and flexibility.  What kind of shape would I be in today if not for karate?  My 33-year-old niece visited my karate class recently.  One of the things she noticed was how high I can kick.  I suppose it was surprising for her to think her aunt, at age 51, had any flexibility, never mind the ability to kick so high.  I also lift weights in order to be better at martial arts.  I’m in better shape than many women that I see, especially those my age.

• I would not be a teacher.  I dreamed of being a teacher when I was a little girl.  I would stand in front of my chalk board and tell the students about the day’s lesson.  I lined my dolls up against the bed and made sure each was paying attention.  I knew teaching was going to be important to me.  I never imagined it would be in the martial arts.

• I would not have a very deep internal thought process about life, and would not have learned to accept heartache and life’s most difficult lessons.  When some people would have readily given up because the experience was so devastating; or would have turned away and not tried to make things work, I pushed through and worked out the issues and somehow landed with my two feet on the ground, thanks to karate.

• I would not be writing blogs, podcasting or getting published in martial arts magazines because I would have missed all the experiences that brought me here.  I always loved to write.  When I was younger I had to write a short story for class.  I wrote about a nun in a convent in Italy.  To this day I do not how or why I  thought of that story line; yet, I submitted it and won an award and got mention in the newspaper.  For some years I wrote songs and poetry; but I put it all aside and never came back to it until the day I decided to try to make some additional income as a writer.  That is how I became a published author in karate magazines, have more than 40 poems pending market reviews for a greeting card company, and that, my friends, is what led me right here writing this blog to you.

I think I can attest to the fact that if I had not taken karate, I would be someone completely different, someone I don’t think I would even recognize if she was walking down the street- probably less fit, a worrier, and willing to let hurt, defeat, or insecurities rule my life.  Following your passions can mold you into a better person, too.

Your Attention Please

You can see why trying what you are called to do is something that deserves your attention, can’t you?

You can’t wait because you will wake up one day it will be too late.  I tried having another child after my fourth.  I thought about getting a law degree.  I contemplated many things only to evaluate them further and determine, it’s just a little too late in my life for that to happen.  Not that I can’t find a work-around (I could adopt or go to law school), but it doesn’t make sense at this point in my life.

Now, I try to pay closer attention to the things I’ve always wanted to do or try.  I realize that while it is too late for some of my dreams to come to fruition, it’s early enough for me to pursue other opportunities that are available at this point in my life.  If you pay close attention, you will find that many of your thoughts and ideas have a theme or a story line already in place and are just waiting to be put into action.

No excuses

There’s nothing worse than listening to someone complain about how they have a terrible job.  Or, why their relationship really stinks.  Or, that they hate living where the live and wish they lived somewhere else.

Is that you?

If so, is anyone really holding you back from making the changes that you desire more than anything?  Can you not find a new job somewhere else, move to your dream place?  Have you tried communicating better in that relationship?  No one is stopping you from making your life better except you.  Ride around and around as much as you like, but without reaching for the golden ring in the carousel, you will never get where you want to be.  The ride in the hot air balloon will not take you anywhere if you don’t have a vision about where you want to go.

The first big choice I made in my life, long before taking martial arts, was moving away from home to go to college.  I have to admit that I did not know until my oldest left home for college how difficult that is for a parent.  But, at 18, I decided Rhode Island was not for me and that I wanted more than anything to live in Florida.  I packed up my trunk, and made the move to a small private college bordering a pretty waterway in St. Petersburg, Florida.  I wasn’t exactly ready to live on my own.  I didn’t know how to write a check, I had no car, and I had to figure out how to manage my time.  I had a good idea about who I wanted to be, though.  I purposefully worked on changing my New England accent and started pronouncing my “R’s.”   I had friends with cars who literally drove me everywhere, including to all my jobs so I could make money to pay for school.  Nothing was easy, yet it was a great time of re-invention and adulthood in the making.

I knew, even back then, that moving to Florida was the right choice.  I ended up meeting my husband there.  Today, I live only thirty minutes from the college.   By following my instincts, my gut reactions, and being fearless, I accepted the direction that seemed clearly set before me. Some of my immediate family ended up moving to Florida, too, and that only happened because I paved the way.  The pebbles and cornerstones on which I stepped were left in place for others to use.

You

I want to encourage you to not miss out.  If you are shy, un-shy yourself.  There is no reason to hide who you are.  People will like you, and if they don’t, they are not worth your time.  If you are too busy to follow a dream, then re-evaluate and prioritize so that you can start working on that goal, whether it is getting a better degree, a black belt, or stepping in front of a crowd to speak about your passion.  If you want a better job or want to live in a bigger city, or a smaller town, don’t let anyone stop you.   Fear or anything else in between should come between you and the things you want to achieve in your life.  No excuse is worth not living your life to its full potential.

It took me years to figure out some of the things I really wanted in life while other decisions were absolutely certain.  I wanted to be married.  I wanted to have children.  Not until recently did I know I wanted to be a writer.  A real one.  One who’s writing other people actually read.  One whose words and sharing of personal and intimate experiences can help others live a better life than they are living today.

The most important things to me, a good long marriage and four children, still do not exactly define who I am.  Somewhere, somehow, I felt a tug in one direction or another and what eased into my mind quietly and surely, I adopted.

Life is short.  It’s hard to fit in all the things we want to do, especially if we don’t try some of the tasks and adventures to which we feel called.  We all have a destiny, a place in the world that we fill, ever so small compared to all the other experiences that the world holds, but in perspective to our own life, are huge, unmistakable truths that should not be denied; that is, if we want to live life the way it is meant to be lived.

You have the same opportunities, if you try.  It’s all wrapped up in knowing who you are; not the mom or dad part, the wife or husband part, or the son or daughter part.  This is about the “you” that stands apart from everyone else; the “you” who stares back in the mirror from a perspective no one else will ever see.

You should pick up that instrument, taste that wine, lose your breath running a 5k race. Take that hot air balloon to a destination.  The exciting part is that you don’t know where following a dream, a calling, a goal, will bring you.  If  hadn’t moved away for college or if I hadn’t taken that first karate class, I don’t know how I would have turned out, but I know it would have been a completely different me.  I’m glad I took the chance, gave it a try.

Don’t sacrifice others or neglect your responsibilities in order to pursue your passions. Find a way to fit a slice of your dream into your life and let it gain momentum.  Don’t delay.  No excuses. There are not many certain things in life, but this one is for sure. If you don’t try, or give yourself a chance, you will never meet the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Give it a try.  Win at life.

Andrea