I was out to dinner with my mother the other day when a man and his wife and daughter walked by.  The man said “hello!”

I looked around.  Is he talking to me?  There was no one else there, so I realized he was looking at me and I responded with a sprite “hello!” right back.  I forgot how interesting city life can be. People from all walks of life.  Strangers.  There is a certain vibe and I realized that people do want to connect.  They do care.  Guess what?  The world is not that bad a place, after all.

Sure, it’s easy to focus on the negative.  When you watch the news (which I rarely do, by the way) it is inundated with  negativity crime, hate, disasters, shootings.  Thank goodness they occasionally throw in a feel-good story; otherwise, it would be difficult to see the world as anything but meaningless and harmful.

That simple “hello” on my way into the local restaurant restored my faith in mankind.  It gave me hope that the majority of people are willing to not only throw a good word our way, but actually help make our cities and towns and neighborhoods good places to be.  That is reassuring, isn’t it?

I know I go against the norm when I don’t want to know about the school shootings or the crazy person who went on a rampage at the Post Office.  Instead, I want to know about the people who say hello out of the blue. The people who serve the community.  The daughters who help their mothers move to into a new home.  The husbands and wives who have been married forever.  I want to know about your good day and what motivates you.  That’s what I want to know.

I guess we all want to know the good things.  When you ask how I’m doing, you’re not really giving me an opportunity to complain about my life, although I may think that.  It’s a cordial formality.  You don’t necessarily want to hear about my bad day, that my fingernail broke, why my day is awful, or how I have no free time.  It’s a good lesson in humility.  You care, but what you want to hear is that I am fine, the world is still a good place, and that happiness still exists.  It’s like a big cotton candy machine.  The more goodness spins, the bigger and better it gets, and that’s the kind of stickiness we all want on our fingertips.

No Complaints

I started using the phrase “no complaints” when people ask how I am.  That is my reminder to not parade all my issues in front of others and to keep things in perspective. While I have my own kettle of boiling problems, others may have worse situations.  I need to be sensitive to the fact that my bad day may be a good day to you.  My “the line was too long at the restaurant” may be your “I didn’t have enough food to feed my kids today.”  My “I had to buy a new tire for my car” may be your “I don’t have a car and have to take the bus.”  My “I’m having a bad hair day” may be your “I lost all my hair due to chemo.”

I do have complaints and lots of them.  Don’t you?  There are some people with whom I can share them if I really need to get them off my chest.  A close friend, family, a minister; but,  I need to be positive and generous about how good life can because my problems may be insignificant in comparison to others.

Once you start complaining less about the things that don’t really matter, you will start to feel better and more positive, too.

I’m not saying you should never share your heartaches and personal burdens; rather, share them when they are really important.  If you or someone in your life is terminally ill; if you are facing a personal disaster; if you need help, then yes, share it and find encouragement and relief.

Full Circle

A simple, unexpected “hello” creates a whole wave of positive thought, faith in mankind, and trust in the human spirit.  If I start saying a happy “hello” to others more frequently, then maybe they will do the same.  Soon, we will all be friendly to each other and that’s a good goal to have.   What goes around, comes around; goodness, too, comes full circle.

Some martial arts schools use the term “full circle” in their description of their martial art. It can be explained as a philosophy of always returning to a beginning with new knowledge learned on the circular path of life.  There are other hints of “full circle” throughout the martial arts.  In the Karate Kid movie, the “wax on, wax off” motion was circular. Circular motions and movements are an important part of the martial arts and represent how there is no beginning or end but a constant flow of motion from one to the next.  It can also explain the sense of fulfillment a martial artist experiences or a teaching approach.  Everything means something in the full circle of learning.  Martial artists always build off the basics and can always return to them.  No matter what advanced techniques martial artists learn, nothing can alter or remove the strong foundation of the basics.

Life has many circular patterns, too.You like to think that good deeds will be rewarded.  When you believe this, you are happy to keep doing good deeds.  It gives hope that something good, someday, will happen to you.

Life, family, friendships, always come full circle.  Your life evolves through phases and feelings until it finds its way to another place.  New families start with small children and as the children grow, the circle is filled with wisdom and grandchildren.  Friendships that shape your childhood find their way back through social media or old-fashioned memories.  Your life has a beginning and an end and how you fill in the rest is completely up to you.

We should be thankful for full circle.  Anything less is partial, not complete. The “treat others as you wish to be treated yourself” concept makes sense.

Hello

If a simple “hello” can build a better world, make friendships blossom, and restore our faith in the human spirit, then why don’t we say it more often?

Hello!  How are you today?

Saying hello is all it takes to win at life.

Andrea