In 1993, I experienced a miscarriage of my first pregnancy. Back then, it felt like the worse time of my life. I had dreamed of being a mother since I was a child. This knocked me for a loop, and made me question everything I ever believed.

Everyone will face a personal disaster at some point. Yours will be different from mine, but it will make itself known. You will want to fall into the trap of believing that you have no control, or that all of your dreams can and will be broken.

I know that many other women have experienced this. In fact, I have talked with many since that day, who need some reassurance that they will be okay. The difference between me, and most women who experience this hardship, is that when it happened to me, I was already a 3 year practitioner of martial arts. No, I am not going to proclaim that martial arts can save pregnancies. They can’t change destiny, or turn every negative into a positive. When you are at your lowest, however, they can be a guide, a direction, and a reminder, that you can persevere, and move ahead.

Martial arts gave me exactly what I needed during this difficult time. They gave me endurance and fortitude, both physically and mentally. The mental practice is what helped me to overcome feelings of helplessness, and loss of hope. I could have easily reverted to these thoughts of negativity. Instead, my mindset overruled, and insisted that this one personal difficulty did not mean that what I desired would never happen. I had to pick up the pieces, and move on.

I ended up having four incredible children. You can see how important it is to not allow your negative thoughts betray you.

This experience followed a similar course in my martial art training. When I first learn a new skill, technique, or form, in martial arts, I get slightly frustrated and feel at a loss. It seems as if I will never understand it. I think to myself, “This just makes no sense to me.” As I practice and learn it, though, I move on from discouragement, to belief, and then I cross the line to understanding.

This process automatically happened after my miscarriage because of my training. Understandably, I was initially discouraged. After a while, I started to believe again. Then, I began to understand the most important truth. There is a reason for everything.

Whatever your loss, or your discouragement, you must find the fortitude to move past it. If I had allowed myself to believe that this miscarriage was the end to my dream of motherhood, I don’t know what would have happened. Perhaps, I would have never tried again. In martial arts, and in life, there is always redemption and hope. You can always try again. After practicing a new form a few times, it suddenly starts to make sense. My stubbornness decreases, and I open myself up to a new perspective. Before I know it, I understand the flow, rhythm, and purpose because I don’t give up.

Whatever your path today, good or bad, you must believe that there is no end to overcoming obstacles. They are temporary. No matter what happens, there is hope and encouragement, if you allow it.

When I held my baby in my arms for the very first time, I was incredibly appreciative, beyond any words that I can share here. The reason for that miscarriage (and for a subsequent one that I experienced) will never fully be revealed, but in the back of my mind, I believe it helped me to be a better mother, and appreciative of every moment.

Life and martial arts always thrive on a parallel in my life. I had persevered and overcame a personal tragedy, just as I had in martial arts so many times. I did not let one difficult situation deter me. Using positivity, and a strong martial art mindset, I eventually was victorious.

You can be, too, if only you believe.

Andrea