I went to a spiritual retreat recently and learned a lot about myself and about people in general.  I’m glad to say that there are many kind and wonderful people in the world.  Your vision may get skewed from the news on television or from what you read.  Rest assured, people are good.  People care.  It took a retreat to remind me that there is a lot more good than evil, but we tend to focus on the negative.

Retreats are great because they bring together like-minded people. It could be a religious retreat, a karate retreat, a retreat for a profession or a yoga retreat.  The beauty of it is that everyone has a similar interest, belief system, and desire to learn.  Everyone is open to the topic, wants to listen, and participates at some level that holds meaning to them.  At the retreat to which I went, people shared their thoughts and ideas openly.   That type of experience is one where you learn the most about yourself and find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.  What you learn about others is that your life in this tremendously big world does make a difference, and even more importantly, you are not insignificant, unworthy, or alone.

Some reflections that I noticed included that others:

• Feel the same way that I do
• Are willing to help me
• Have difficulty with similar issues
• Feel embarrassed at times  

Reflections like these ebb and flow in a retreat because you meet new people and hear stories that range from delight to disparity.  In the end, you feel refreshed and rejuvenated because you have unlocked some of your baggage and negative feelings.  Secrets are revealed, hurts are mended, and truths are applauded.  You find your own purpose once again; or, at the least, you are reminded of what you have known all along.  You are a good, decent person.

While retreats are very useful and enjoyable, it is not necessary to wait for a physical place or a specific point in time to experience a moment of quiet refreshment.  I know that for me it is very difficult to step away from responsibilities, work-load, and other duties that await me at home or at work in order to take a few hours to focus on me; but, on occasion I do it and I’m glad for it.  The physical location of a retreat is important, but not essential.  The essential part is that you need a retreat more frequently than once a year, even more than once a month or once a week.  Without relieving the mind of stress on occasion, you will start to feel stuck in a rut or a routine that is endless and exhausting.  Whether your rut is too much alone time or too much responsibility, there is only one way to break through that frustration and that is taking a just-for-you internal retreat.

Combine Your Worlds

For me, an internal retreat combines several aspects of my life and my personality together.  I use both my faith/religion and my martial arts mindset to create an internal haven that allows me to rest mentally.  Part of my retreat is writing these words because as much as I hope to inspire you, I find inspiration in the words that I share.  Another part of my internal retreat is when I work out or practice karate.  For that time, I forget everything else.  So, the internal retreat does not have to be meditation or straight quiet time; but it must be a you-moment; something that really cannot be shared or perhaps even understood by someone else.  It could be prayer or reflection but could also manifest itself in an action, the way writing helps me, or the way karate gives me physical and mental strength.

I use karate as a great example because it is very unique to the practitioner.  Sure, several people may practice at the same time in class and perhaps even do a choreographed set of moves together.  Each person is still unique.  Each has a different thought pattern, a different worry, a different way to breathe and pace.  While the student is aware of others who are practicing around him, he focuses mostly on his own internal world.  With movement and breath, the martial artist has clarity and understanding not just of his art, but of himself.

Of course, you don’t need to be a martial artist to create an internal retreat.   Here is a menu of choices that will lead you to your own quiet within the noise;  your own peace among the chaos.

Pick One:

Strengthen the Mind:

Reflection- Subtle thoughts about what is important to you, the things for what you are grateful, or how to achieve your goals and ambitions

Meditation-  Allow the mind to still internal thoughts to a single mantra, breathing pattern, or a posture

Prayer-Ask for peace, grace, forgiveness, and joy

Strengthen the Body:

Yoga- Bring body and mind together, to stretch and to calm

Weight Training-Work the muscles of the body for strength, power, or definition

Aerobics-Allow the heart to grow healthy and efficient

Martial Arts-Practice a physical and mental challenge and learn about self

Relax:

Music- Listen to music that makes you feel excited and prepares you to move forward in your vision of yourself

Words- Read a great book to break away from reality; an inspirational story, a biography, a daily reflection, or a novel that takes you away

Socialize-Spend uninterrupted time with family or friends; allow your love and friendship to emerge without boundaries and barriers

Create-Not everyone is “creative” but everyone can create.  Write a few words in a journal, write a heartfelt letter

Motivate Self:

Remind- Remind yourself that you are capable, smart, and good at many things.  You are just as good as everyone else

Visualize- Set a vision in your mind of who you want to be.  If you have goals, see yourself accomplishing them

Praise- Praise yourself for a good job, a great accomplishment, a goal completion.  Give yourself a pat on the back even when others fail to notice your milestone

You are Never Too Busy

I am the first to claim to be “too busy” for me-time.  I might even complain that I have no opportunities to get my thoughts together in the midst of busy or strenuous days.  Without wanting to admit it, I think that’s a bit of truth-stretching.  No one is too busy to reflect for a few seconds, say a kind word, or visualize a success, even me.  It reminds me about who I really am inside, what I’m called to do, and what is truly important to me.

The retreat I attended had a focus on discernment.  It asked the questions, “what are you called to do and who are you meant to be?”    Those are difficult questions.  I had to really think about where I am in my life and if I am doing the best I can with my time, my beliefs, my talents.  Even with all that I do, I still fall short in a few areas and that’s how the retreat helped to bring me back to balance.  Internal retreats will help direct you in a positive direction, too.  They will help you brush burdens aside and enlighten your perspective.  Don’t wait for that once-in-a-year retreat (if you even get to one of those!) to figure things out.

Plain and simple.  You are called to many different roles.  Mine includes mother, wife, friend, martial artist, and instructor.  These concepts make up parts of me, but like wearing makeup to look prettier, they are layered on top of the real me, who deep inside has a voice no one else can hear.  What I learn from an intimate, inward retreat is that I am a very capable being who can change the world for the better in my small way. It’s a voice and a vision that only I can hear and see, and clearly it deserves reflection and recognition.

Stressed?  Feeling out of sorts?  You need a retreat.  You need a moment to remind yourself that life is meant to be enjoyed.  It’s not a competition.  It’s not a disappointment.  It’s not a difficulty.  If you have the wonderful opportunity to wake up and to take another breath in the morning, then you should never forget who you are deep down, under the surface.  There’s no one perfect way to retreat into your own self; the ways and means are completely up to you.  The important thing is that you do it.  You must reinforce your positive attributes in order to live a better life.

Enjoy your own personal reflective retreat because, like me,  you deserve to Win at Life.

Andrea