I did something really cryptic yesterday and sat down at the table and played a….. board game with my family.

It was a rainy day and we were stuck inside, so one of my kids grabbed a game out of the closet. When I saw it, I exclaimed, “I want to play!” then my husband asked if he could play and before we knew it we were all settled around the table with the game in the center and our game pieces stacked in front of us.  It was a word game so the pieces were all letters.  We had a lot of fun and laughed, too, but the most interesting thing about it was how each of our personalities was revealed while playing.

• There was the “planner” who planned out every word well in advance only to realize when her turn came around someone else put a word there.
• There was the “negotiator” who tried to negotiate using words that were not really words just to get rid of some of his letters.
• There was the “thinker” who took forever to figure out a decent word and play the game.
• There was the “verifier” who looked up the meanings of words to make sure they were real.
• There was the “organizer” who asked what word was best to use in what circumstance.
• There was the “team player” who wanted help from another when he couldn’t figure out a word to use.

Who knew that so many personalities would be confirmed while playing a board game?  Yet, every person’s true personality was revealed in a very concrete, tangible way.  It was a small display of a much bigger picture of how your personality infiltrates everything that you do.  None of the traits that were established during the game were bad.  Each had a very positive side to it.

I am the “planner.”  I don’t think there’s any confusion about that!  I try to plan ahead and many times my plan falls through because something changes, just like planning out my word and another player using the space I needed on the game board.  I try to plan in life, too.  I have always heard that having something in place, a good plan, is a good idea.  The problem with planning is that it removes flexibility.  If a plan cannot fall into place for whatever reason, I feel like maybe I didn’t do a good job or didn’t cover all the bases.

What did I forget, lack, ignore, that made the plan fall through?  

There are many things you can plan, but many you cannot. In order to try to win the board game I had to quickly make changes for which I was not prepared.  I couldn’t dwell on that great word that I was ready to put on the board and get all those points, but instead I was forced to find an alternative plan that would work in the time given.

I found myself exclaiming “oh, no!!! you took my spot!” or “I don’t know what I’m going to do now~!”  How ironic that I feel the same in life sometimes.  The board game was a literal reflection of the questions I ask myself all the time.  How about you? How many times is your “spot” taken? How many times do you feel overlooked or not given a chance, but someone else is?  How many times do you compare yourself to someone else and figure that you should both achieve the same amount of success, health, or wisdom because you are similar?  Or, have you felt lost or abandoned or not sure what to do in a situation? Have you felt dread trying to come to terms with a personal problem?  Have you felt like there is no solution to an issue or do you carry a burden that feels heavy and emotionally draining?  I know that I’ve done and felt all these things.  So much so, that they quietly and unexpectedly erupted while playing a board game.  The reminder was all I needed to decide I need to make some changes.  As a planner, I get thrown off course too easily.

All this has helped me understand my martial art journey better.  Every time I think it’s going in a certain direction it swings around like a hurricane following an unknown path. Where will it strike? It is a “hurricane” path that cannot be planned. It can stretch over a large portion of your life or just hover over one moment like the quiet eye in the middle of the whirlwind.  It is different for each practitioner.  As my hurricane path brings to me closer and closer to new friends and relationships with other martial artists, I have a new sense of its power.

Recently I met a new friend, Heddokochi Alex Collazo who teaches discipline and spiritual training through the combat and free hand combat arts (https://m.facebook.com/Freehandstylemartialarts). I’m a traditional girl with experience only in Korean martial arts. Learning about free hand combat arts is about as far from my arsenal as you can get. Yet, the swirl pulled me in his direction as a new friend and martial arts connection. I know I have a lot to learn from him, and that was nothing for which I planned but a great diversion from my existing path.  If my path stays too narrow, I will never expand my horizons.  There are so many styles and venues of martial arts that they are like food in a buffet set before me,where I can taste a little here and there and still stay true to what I know and love.  My new friend, Heddokochi Alex Collazo has amazing skill and a really quick hand (so I’ll definitely stay on his good side!) but most importantly, if my path had not diverted just a little, I would have never met this creative and intriguing martial artist. Check out his page yourself and divert from your original path to experience a new connection in your martial arts journey.

You must divert at times.  Sure enough something is going to be thrown in your way.  You will have to figure out how to continue with your life in a positive and thoughtful manner while figuring out how to navigate around the situation.  Your path is never set in stone no matter how much you would like it to be, but every new maneuver has purpose.  Meeting new people, like my new freestyle friend, is a path worth following.

I had a vision and path a long time ago to be a black belt.  That was a great vision, wasn’t it?  Once I was hooked on karate, my little healthy addiction, I powered forward.  As I earned my belts, I earned confidence and self-respect.  As I progressed through the years, I progressed into wisdom.  One small kick turned into many kicks.  An inch of self-doubt was slowly erased.  Black belt was only a step away.

Or was it?

It took me five long years to earn my first black belt. For some reason I missed class times and tests and could only afford one class per week, so that kind of limited me.  I was on the path to a black belt, but it was a very slow track.  One step turned into many steps.  Many steps turned into days and weeks, months, and years.  Five years.  Not everyone would stick with it, but I did.  Then, three years later I earned my second degree.  Add on another eighteen years and I’m here exploring a new path and new friendships everyday. Currently my way is teaching and writing and that feels magnificently good,  like a long walk on a breezy day.  A normal black belt path that may have taken some a couple of years or a few years, took me several.  Fortunately there was one path on which I remained steady at all times and that was the one of  perseverance, trust, and belief in myself.  The lesson for me is that no matter what little diversions enter my life, they are not that important because the results are worth stumbling upon.

Life and martial arts are every bit a game of exciting opportunities. What started as a simple board game on a Sunday afternoon turned into a revelation about myself and my life.  I like to plan ahead.  I like everything in order and everything to fall into place.  I’m unstable when I have to step outside the planned boundaries.  I want to plot out everything, but life just cannot work that way.  Good days or bad, in my gi at karate class, or lounging around writing, I cannot predict one single thing, never mind a good word to play in the board game.  The words “prediction” and “plan” won’t always make it as words onto my life’s board game, but words like “hope,” “win,” and “try” will.

Today, as you move forward in the game of life, don’t just do what you have to do to get by.  Inch forward and go straight for victory.  Set your eyes on the prize and you will win more than you ever expected.

Andrea