I recently returned from a cruise with my mother.  We had a nice time on the ship that took us to the Grand Cayman Islands and Cozumel, Mexico.  We saw the usual sights, bought souvenirs, and ate a lot of food.  As the last day drew near, my mother said she was sad to see the vacation end, and I agreed.  I said “well, it’s just a vacation and it’s meant to end,” and she said something that inspired me to write this blog.  Something that I think we all forget no matter who we are, where we live, or what we do.

She said “it’s okay for you because you have a life waiting for you.”

I guess that struck me in a couple of different ways.  It’s a perspective thing.  My life consists of constant work.  From a full day in an office, to teaching karate, to blogging and writing, to cleaning house and washing dishes to volunteering in between.  Day in, day out, it’s a sort of grind.  Very long days seem to blend together until a week suddenly passes.  The weekends seem just as full when I have to cart kids to events and practices and pick up groceries or run errands. It’s true, I have the love of my family here beside me, but it’s not like we all sit around an open fire every night!  Truthfully, though, it is a good life.  One full of love and laughter on the outside, and worries and tribulations on the inside, like everyone else.

Yes, I have a life waiting for me.  But, here is the good part.

So do you.

Each and every one of you reading this has a life waiting for you if you just reach out to grab it.

It does not matter what your age is or your lot in life, how much money you make or where you have traveled.  It does not matter if you have children or not, if you take vacations or drive nice cars.  It does not matter the color of your skin or where you were born or how you enjoy spending your time.

It’s time to ask yourself, how do I want to live out my life?  How do I want to feel?  What makes me feel good?  What makes me happy?

These questions might elicit answers based on material things, but you need to look deeper.  It is life experiences, special moments, intimate friendships, and loving families that truly bring us the most joy.  Don’t waste your precious time wondering how to gain “things;” instead, spend it figuring out how to enjoy, share, and thrive in every moment.

On the cruise I did a couple of things I’ve never done before.  One was to try a hip hop dance class on the stage in front of an audience.  I had to laugh when the audience voted me the best in the group and then I had to step up front and be the instructor for the class! The other never-before thing I tried was to sing karaoke for the first time!  A friend from my dinner table joined me and I sang an appropriate song that seems to have my life message in it… “Lean on Me.”

Years ago, when I was too worried about what others might think or say, I would have never attempted either of these; but since I’ve changed my ways and decided to live my life to the fullest possible, I had no problem jumping right in.

So, jump right in!  Face life and challenge it.  When it says ” you can’t,”  tell it “I can.”  When it says “you shouldn’t,”  tell it “I should.” When it says “you are not good enough,”  tell it “I am good enough.”  This is the only way you will ever be able to do and try all of the things that interest you or that you love to do.  If you don’t, you will be missing out on a rewarding life.

Karate

You are probably wondering right now what any of this has to do with martial arts.  After all, this is The Martial Arts Woman blog!  Well, the answer is nothing and everything, depending on how you look at it.

I teach five martial arts classes a week.  It doesn’t sound like a lot until you add in my full-time day job, my blogging, my freelance writing, working out, volunteering, and time with my family. I could look at teaching in a couple of ways; as a burden or as a blessing.

As a burden, I’m committed to teaching week in, week out.  There are few breaks in the sessions.  It’s a big responsibility to make sure everyone is treated fairly and that all receive the instruction they deserve.  And, I’m already tired when I get there.

As a blessing, teaching karate is a unique opportunity that most people never get to experience.  I enjoy teaching people of all ages.  I like to share my own talents with others while keeping in shape myself. While it is a big committment it is also a  part of my mission to help others live a better life and  make this world a better place.  Five hours a week is do-able, and in many ways I’m energized when I’m done, even if I am tired when I arrive.

Choose Your Path

I am sure you can see the difference between the two scenarios.  The real difference is that in one situation I don’t have  a life waiting for me; or if I do, it is a negative one that makes the worst of everything.  In the other situation, the blessing, I have an awesome life waiting for me.  It is all in how I choose to view it.

That’s right…I said how I “choose” to view it.

You have choices to make.  Do you choose to have a full life or spend life always waiting?

• Waiting for the right time to get married or have kids
• Waiting to change your mindset from negative to positive
• Waiting to try something new
• Waiting for the day you retire
• Waiting for something good to happen

Waiting for whatever it is that you want to do is fine if  you need the extra time to make a big decision.  It goes hand in hand with planning and is only effective if you understand that waiting, like anything, should be done in moderation and when necessary.  But, if your waiting is really just procrastination, then you are wasting precious time.  You don’t want to ask yourself “do I have a life waiting for me” when you finally decide to disembark from your worries, distractions, and negativity.  Instead, you want to inquire, “where should I go next?”

If I had waited any longer to try karate, I probably would have never learned it.  I would not be the person I am today if I had not broken through the mind games that told me I could never be a martial artist.  Karate is one life I have waiting for me, all the time, whenever I want.

Wherever you are, it’s time to cruise home.  Make home a place you want to be.  Maybe part of home is outside on a beach or maybe it is inside where you reflect and meditate.  Perhaps home is where you enjoy a special occasion with the family or how you feel as you drift off to sleep at night.  Home could be the feel of your child’s hand in yours, or the smell of food cooking over an outdoor fire.  Home.  The right place for you.

Cruise Home

As our cruise ship arrived at the Port of Tampa, I was really happy with the vacation.  I had tried a few new things, met some wonderful people, and had a lot of time together with my mother.  We visited nice places and we enjoyed meals together.  When she was resting, I had a little time to explore myself.

The truth is, I needed this vacation.  Recent disappointments, a very hectic schedule, and lack of sleep made me realize that I shouldn’t delay in taking a break.  No Internet, no writing, and no work.  I am glad I didn’t wait much longer or life would have just rolled into another hectic schedule that I would start to resent.

It’s time for you, too, to let the ship sail from its usual dock.  Find a new port in life where you can see, do, and feel something completely different.  In that “different” moment, you will experience your life as you should.  Your life is not meant to be mundane and boring and work all the time.  There is happiness around the edges but you have to reach out to touch it and pull it closer.  You have to travel a little outside your normal boundaries, take an excursion to another part of yourself, and notice the beauty of the world around you.  That’s all it takes for a life that toggles between choppy waters and smooth sailing.

Cruise home or to your favorite port.  Either way,  you always will have a life waiting for you.

Only then can you Win at Life.

Andrea