Martial artists are not haters. Well, let me rephrase that. If a martial artist hates other styles, hates other martial artists, does nothing but criticize, is belligerent, unkind, or disrespectful, well I’m sorry….they are not a martial artist.
I know. It is a bit harsh. However, martial artists have a certain “code” to follow, so to speak. It includes key factors such as integrity, perseverance, respect, self-control, humility, and indomitable spirit. Martial artists who disobey these key tenets lack half of what it takes to be a martial artist and lose the privilege to be one.
HOW HATE IS REVEALED
Let me give an example. Years ago I was a part of a martial art group on Facebook. The owner of the group began sharing all my posts and I was grateful. The more blog posts shared, the more impact they have. Little did I know that he was a bully who eventually threatened me over and over to “ruin my reputation” if I didn’t concede to his bizarre demands. Come to find out, he is an alcoholic who abuses his wife and and consistently bullies martial art women on line. I shared his name with all the women martial artists I know. Other martial artists helped me call him out and eventually he pulled his group and website.
Case in point. He is not a true martial artist, no matter how many years of training, skills, technique or number of students he has. You see, hate and martial arts cannot coexist. If you want to call yourself a martial artist, whether white belt, intermediate, or 10th dan, you must fulfill the mission fully and completely.
WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE?
Let me clarify some acceptable behavior for all martial artists who give advice to other martial artists online, and this is also an essential life lesson. First, thank them for their contribution. Next, provide them with one thing you like before sharing your constructive criticism. Finally, make sure your constructive criticism really matters. For example, many styles do front kicks, but with some variation on how to hold the hands. Each style has a reason for its version. Before telling someone they are “wrong,” ask why they do it that way or if they ever considered a different way. You may learn something in the process.
ROLE MODELS
As martial artists and instructors, you are role models who must diligently work to improve others’ confidence. You must boost their ego when they are feeling low and profess their ability to achieve when they spiral into thinking they cannot learn. Every martial artist is a unique human being with different strengths and weaknesses. You break the code of who a martial artist is if your criticism is heavy-handed or done out of fear that they will be better than you.
DEALING WITH HATERS
The physical exercises, practice, demonstrations, tests and class work in martial arts are the clear output of hard work, effort and determination. Still, there is no denying, at least in my mind, that that is only half of the capable martial artist. While you may always follow the tenets of martial arts, there may come a day when you are the one being unjustly criticized and have to figure out how to handle it. The same code applies. Never stoop to their level. Never fight back in haste without thinking through a strategy. Do not further incite, but utilize a strategy as effective as a swift kick that extinguishes a flame without touching the candle.
FINDING BALANCE
If you are reading this, I have no doubt that you are a real martial artist, one who cares about who they are and what they are doing. Still, a quick review of the tenets of martial arts brings you back into balance for times when you question how to respond to situations that are uncomfortable or contentious. Keep in mind that anger and fear bring out the worst in you, but taking the time to figure out a suitable course of action against a martial art hater will give you an opportunity to make the right decisions. Block the bullies and haters and do not engage, if possible.
Being a martial artist is a responsibility not to be carried lightly. You must teach this important lesson to your predecessors and students. If you find that you “hate” others for no good reason, lash out because of fear or anger, or lower yourself to haters’ standards, always refer to your martial art code. A martial artist plays a complicated role, one that has many intricate components. It might be a bold statement, but a martial artist is only half of who they should be if they bully or demean and that simply does not add up to the right equation.
Stay strong and carry through your mission. You must find a balance in your actions, behaviors and responses. You will face obstacles in martial arts and in life. How you act and react makes all the difference. Teach your students well. Use the tenets of martial arts as a guide and allow yourself time to react to difficult situations.
After all, you are a martial artist.
xoxo
Andrea
Pick up these motivational books here:
The Martial Arts Woman: https://www.amazon.com/Martial-Arts-Woman-Moti…/…/1544916213
Martial Art Inspirations for Everyone: https://www.amazon.com/Martial-Inspirations-Ev…/…/150297830X
Thank you for this! I recently and unfortunately found a “superior nutritionist and martial artist” who seems to only spend his time bashing women online with hate speech while objectifying their sexuality. It made me nauseous. He seemed like a violent and aggressive person. I wanted to say something but found it better to just consider him mentally ill and pray he has a humble moment. Not a true martial artist and definitely not a master in my book!
Geez, I’m sorry you have to deal with that! It happens. All we can do is move past it because you cannot change it. Hang in there!
I started martial arts training in a taekwondo class in 2001, and if I recall correctly, in that very first class the instructor told me and the other new students that the 5 Tenets of Taekwondo govern everything that is done by the student, both in the dojang and the outside. Andrea, you mentioned most of them. The first one is “courtesy.” Certainly, harboring hatred for anyone means the actions you might take in regard to that person are not going to be courteous. Plus, the Bible teaches us to love one another, not to hate. That should be good enough for martial artists, and those who never set foot in a dojo/dojang.
Great points and thank you. For sure we must do what is right beginning with how we treat others.
This blog post is on point! I remember when social media wasnt around….if people were haters, they just spread their narrow mindset to students who often quit anyway because of lack of discipline or lack of a martial arts curriculum with substance. Nowadays, social media allows us to reach a vast number of people. Unfortunately the haters and the bullies reach people too.
If a person calls themselves a “martial artist” yet shows their insecurities through bullying and hating on other styles or people, then it makes me wonder if they ever really understood the tenets of self discipline, integrity, honor, respect, etc. And if they havent, well, they shouldn’t dare call themselves “Masters”.
Great points, Restita! Social media is good and bad, isn’t it? I would no be able to meet great martial artists and people like YOU for instance! But, there is the downside as you mentioned. Thanks for reading it.
Yes! Keep walking (and kicking) on the sunny side of the street, Andrea! 🙂
You know MAW would have it no other way! Thanks Ando.
Hi Andrea, did you mean to use the word “kick” in this excerpt from your article?
“…effective as a swift *quick* that extinguishes a flame without touching the candle.”
Vince
Yes thanks! It’s so difficult to proof your own material! 🙂
Thank you for this post.
Thank you for reading it!