Someone addressed me as “master” on my Facebook page recently and I was quick to correct.  “Just call me sister, or friend,” I replied.  I wasn’t being difficult, I just have not achieved high enough rank to be called master.  I suppose it has been ingrained in me to never allow others to call me what I’m not, good or bad. I hearkened to correct a title I’ve never earned, experienced, and perhaps do not even understand.

On the other hand, if you decide to call me something out of line because you don’t like who I am, or you decide to criticize me for whatever reason, I’m not going to allow that either.  You’ll probably get a swift kick off my Facebook page or other social media so you can wallow in your own misunderstanding and misinterpretation without affecting me directly.  Just like being called master, being called anything less than what I am is not acceptable either.

A friend noticed my comment about not being a “master.”  He said it is years of experience and time that make you a master, not a grading or ranking or anything else.  While I can understand and appreciate it, I know that allowing someone to call me something I’ve not been granted would irritate more than a few people; specifically masters who have struggled, achieved, and tested for such an honor.  My goal is not to step on kicking feet, but to stretch martial art imaginations.

But still, I had to ponder, what is a master, and are there points in my life that I can pinpoint where I became an expert of my soul, a leader of my dreams, or the master of my life?  In these equations, no one can measure me, but myself.  There are no belts, no congratulations, no celebration of the roles; yet, the clarity of mastership cannot be denied.

To master your life is to believe in yourself. Someone recently described me as having “boatloads of confidence.” I suppose that is a true in the sense that I am no longer guided by the words or actions of others who want to mold or define me.  I’ve recognized enough about myself over the years to understand what I am supposed to do with my life.  I wake up each morning, look in the mirror and wish that the day is everything I hope and imagine it should be.  There is nothing perfect in what I see, but there is perfection in my thought.

I want to become what I see in my mind. I want my life to mean something.  I want to stand out. I want to make a difference.

I take the time to explore intuition. I look beyond who I am in this moment to who I want to be.  The future is not as important as this very moment, but self-actualizing who you want to become has a definite purpose.

Your life is precious and unpredictable.  In one fail swoop you can be lifted up or dragged down. You can be a believe in yourself or question your existence.  You can decide to embrace your dreams or live in stagnation.  You can choose to be a regular Joe, or become the master of your life.  The best decisions are so clear, and yet you shy away from the best choices because of fear or worry or concern.  Don’t. Don’t let those things dissuade you from a positive forward momentum.  You will gain appropriate friendships and disintegrate barriers as you go.

There are several definitions that can describe what being a master means. It might define you as one who has or shows a very great skill or proficiency, one who as acquired a complete knowledge or skill in an accomplishment or technique, or one who has gained control of or overcome something.  While each of these explanations fits concisely into martial art learning and apprenticeship, they are apt for life, as well.

Great skill and proficiency:  You do not need to be a martial artist, or anything in particular in fact, to have great skill and proficiency in who you are as a person. I enjoy writing.  I like outreach.   They have become easier to accomplish after many days, months, and years of practice.  I am skilled at smiling.  I am proficient at breaking through boundaries.  You, too, have many skills and proficiency in many areas.  Are you kind? Do you treat others with honor and respect? Do you seek ways to better yourself?  Are you constantly working on strengthening yourself? Do you have a good message? All of these things have no bearing on what you do, but, rather who you are.

A complete knowledge or skill in an accomplishment or technique:  Life itself is a skill and requires technique.  You are born knowing nothing,  a child without understanding right or wrong.  Each day you grow and become more intricately you. To be so unique, unlike any other in the entire universe is quite an accomplishment! I am often fascinated when I think that there are enough different sets of unique eyes and noses to create so many different people. If only you would only remember daily how important and unique you are! This knowledge holds the key to every desire, success, and dream that you have.

Getting through each day is like a martial art technique. When you learn an escape for the first time, it feels awkward. Life has more awkward and difficult moments than that. There are many more times in life where you have to learn things the hard way or figure them out as you go.  There are frustrations and discouragements with which you need to deal.  The technique of working through these has a lot to do with your mindset.  A powerful martial art mindset will always allow you to work though issues with positivity and patience.  You may explore other avenues or techniques along the way, but they will not all lead you to the knowledge that you need.

Gaining control or overcoming: I know, know, know (yes, I said it three times for emphasis!)  that I am not the only person who has experienced devastation, pain, disappointment or loss. Mastering your life does not mean that you eliminate anything bad or uncomfortable that may happen to you.  Life does not offer multiple choice situations. You can’t pick and choose every scenario.  There are outside influences, societal interference, and natural disasters. Every moment a life enters the world and another exits. You cannot control any of that, but you can control your reaction, your outlook and your level of hope and encouragement.

One day, on one of my son’s sixteenth birthday, I was upstairs cleaning when I heard commotion, footsteps running down the wooden stairs, voices escalating, and I felt a strangeness I could not understand.  When I looked out the window, I saw that a fire was engulfing the back yard, very close to the house. There really was no time to react, I just ran downstairs and outside, too. As quickly as a breath exhales from your mouth, the fire spread by leaps and bounds. One of the kids had a hose. one had wet blankets, and I grabbed buckets of water from the utility sink. It seemed insurmountable, yet, working together, it fell into place, bit by bit it extinguished.  I guess it’s the kind of 16th birthday a person is not ever going to forget.

The fire is a bit like a difficult life experience.  It can get completely out of control if you don’t contain it.  Don’t let one fire overwhelm your entire life.  If it is a hurt, then give yourself time to heal, always knowing in the back of your mind that bit by bit, the pain will eventually extinguish enough for you to move on.    When you allow it to fully take over your life, if you give up, or lose hope, you will lose your ability to live life to its fullest.  That is why gaining control of some instances is so important.

Do you think the fighter in the ring gives up control?  Do you think he has any chance of overcoming if he does not believe in himself?  Will he allow himself to be defined as a person who has lost control and cannot overcome?  It is often the one with the strongest mindset who wins.  Physical size may not even matter.

What is your “out of control fire?”  What is your mindset?  You can master your own life in the way you react and the way you think.

****

After all of this reflection, I have to admit something.  Being a life master is a huge accomplishment.  While I may not be one in the martial art world just yet, I just realized that I’ve gained impressive rank in the art of life.  Not only do I recognize my uniqueness, my talents, and my perseverance, I have taken a step further by sharing what I know with you. I’m an ordinary person with an extraordinary vision.

If you are tired of feeling like you have no control, if you feel like you have nothing exciting on your list of accomplishments, or if a bad day knocked you out or a sadness pulled you in, you are not alone. You have nothing to fear.  You are going to be alright.  You are going to pull through.

Become who you see in your mind.  Stand out. Make a difference. You are the master of your life.

Andrea

 

Find me here, too!

http://www.themartialartswoman.com

https://www.facebook.com/themartialartswoman

https://www.linkedin.com/in/themartialartswoman

https://twitter.com/aharkins1

https://plus.google.com/+AndreaHarkinsTheMartialArtsWoman/posts

https://www.instagram.com/themartialartswoman/

Life coaching also available

“The Martial Arts Woman” book to be published in 2016.