Have you ever noticed them? The people who always have something negative to say about others? Maybe you are one of them.
Someone is too fat. Someone dresses weird. Someone is old-fashioned, a prude, too serious, too silly, too particular, shy, unhappy, and the list goes on. They have an answer for everyone and an inaccurate judgment based on what they see.
Usually our first inclination is to judge those who are different from who we are. After all, we all think others should be a little bit more like us, don’t we?
I admit it. I have done it, too. But, that was when I was insecure about myself and thought that I had nothing to offer this great, big world. I even did it with martial arts. I instantly judged my first class by what I saw. I was insecure in the moment. It was a place far from usual. I had been raised to not yell or be aggressive. So, I judge martial arts as too aggressive, maybe even violent, and not for me.
Little did I know then that martial arts are about defense. They are not about fighting, but they do teach you how to fight back if that is the only choice. I disintegrated my self-defined and inaccurate judgment about martial arts the day I realized that. Just imagine. If I had stuck with my original and incorrect judgment, where would I be today?
I was looking for definition and purpose, so I tried and I learned. Then, and most importantly, I realized that the only person I needed to judge was me. Clearly I was not living up to my own standards. Once I gained more self-confidence, I found it unnecessary to ever judge anyone else again.
Today, I find it difficult to judge others, even if I try. The reason is because I have so much work to do in my own life. And, I have been on the receiving side of judgment too many times. I have been judged incorrectly and it was a painful lesson. That is significant because it reminds me that my bitter judgments about others have little merit and are hurtful.
The simple lesson is this. If you find yourself harshly judging others, take a step back and look at yourself. I bet you will see that your own insecurities are prompting these thoughts and reactions. You may begin to see that if you took a little time to “judge” yourself, that there are some very positive changes that you can make in your own life.
Once you feel better about who you are, or at least decide to control your own destiny by taking responsibility for who you are and what you say, the need to judge others will diminish as will your own insecurities.
I am not here to judge, just remind. Thankfully, I allowed myself to see martial arts for what they were. I also see you for who you are. You are a unique and magnificent person and your strengths far outweigh your weaknesses.
A little less judging and a lot more encouraging will go a long way. It is your responsibility and mine to do what we can to make the world a better place, and less judgment is a great way to start.
xoxo
Andrea
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Osu and thank you!