Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be threatened at gun point or physically assaulted? Being shoved in a car against your will or scurried away into the wilderness?  How would you defend yourself?  Would you grapple on the ground, kick and punch, or yell and scream at the top of your lungs?  The truth is, you don’t  know what you would do.

What if I told you that there is a key self-defense element that can help  protect you no matter what the time of day, where you are, or what you are doing?  It doesn’t require martial arts training or a black belt.  It has nothing to do with overcoming a dangerous situation, but everything to do with avoiding one.

Recently, in the parking garage where I work, two people who were staying at the hotel next door returned from an early morning breakfast around 3:30 a.m.  When they got to the parking garage, they sat in the car for a while watching videos on their phones.  Two men walked up to them while they were sitting quietly in their car and robbed them at gunpoint!  Thankfully, they turned over the items the robbers demanded (always give up your “stuff!”) and they were unharmed, but frightened.

My first reaction was what would I do in this situation?  After all, this is the exact same parking garage where I park every day.  I know I would hand over my money and personal items, but what about if they didn’t back off?  Then what?  Would I have to use one of the martial arts defenses I’ve been practicing for twenty-seven years?  Would I try to disarm them, swat a gun away?  Would I scream and make noise?  Would I crawl under the seat to hide?

After my initial reaction, I started to theorize a little more.  What could these victims have done differently?  The facts surrounding the incident reminded me that there is something we CAN do and it has nothing to do with fighting.

Let’s review the facts:

Time:  3:30 a.m.

Place:  Dark, quiet parking garage

Action:  Watching videos on phones

It is not their fault that the incident took place.  They were only sitting quietly in a parking garage, not hurting or bothering anything.  I cannot disagree that they have every right to do that.  On the other hand, being completely unaware of their surroundings combined with time of day in a desolate location had everything to do with their vulnerability.

Safety starts by increasing your awareness.  I am not a mind-reader nor do I have a crystal ball, but I think I can predict that this incident may have never happened if the time, place, and circumstances were  different.

 

You want to be safe, right?  Then start by considering time, place, and action, the biggest factors that play into awareness.  When you forget about your surroundings you create a situation that won’t be overlooked by those looming, waiting to find a victim.  If you have no awareness of your own space and surroundings, you are a spot-on target.

Be More Aware

I have definitely walked  around with my nose buried in my phone, paying no attention to what is happening around me.  Even though I am a black belt and I teach martial arts, I occasionally jump on the “completely unaware” bandwagon.  To be focused on our surroundings all the time is impossible.  So, we must do the best we can and keep aware as much as possible.

I live on five acres.  A lot of it is overgrown brush.  We have all kinds of critters, from bobcats to turtles to snakes.  I have seen water moccasins on several occasions.  Sometimes we see non-poisonous snakes such as corn snakes, and black racers, too.  Each day when I walk out my front door in the wee hours of the morning to go to work, guess what I do?  I look around for snakes.  I take a moment to be aware.

There are also people who fit into the snake category.  We cannot tell if they are good or bad, poisonous or not, so the safe bet is to avoid them altogether.  This is the same lesson that we must teach our children about strangers.  Just avoid them altogether.  It doesn’t matter if they look nice or mean, just avoid. We have all heard these lessons before and we know what “stranger” means.  We try to stay safe and keep a distance, right?  I want to believe you, but I know better.

Do you realize how many times you have already dropped your guard because you were infatuated with someone, you needed a ride somewhere,  you stopped to help someone, you had a flat tire, or you were lost? If we, as adults, fall into these unaware traps then imagine how difficult it is for a child to understand and apply the stranger danger principles.  Like us, they end up in situations where strangers can infiltrate their space at any time.  We all allow awareness to fail, but this failure can be the worst mistake we ever make.

Consider these scenarios:

When an 11-year-old girl was walking from her house to a bus stop, a car slowed down.  Thinking the driver was going to ask for directions when he rolled down his window, she walked up to the car.

A 20-year-old woman accepted a ride to attend a friend’s birthday party. Even though hitchhiking was considered unsafe she felt safe getting into the car because the young couple inside was clean-cut had their baby with them.

A Seven-year-old boy was walking home from school when approached by a man posing as a minister.  Asked if he was willing to donate items to his church, the boy answered yes and when invited to get into the car for a ride home, he accepted.

Unfortunately, I didn’t make up any of these scenarios.  Each was an actual abduction that lasted for years.   None of these victims was fully aware.  None considered the following:  I don’t need to talk to strangers for any reason; these people aren’t safe just because they have a baby; I’m not sure I should do this. 

I recently spoke to a young group of girls about defense.  It’s a difficult topic because I didn’t want to scare them into thinking abduction is right around the corner.  On the other hand, I wanted them to understand the seriousness of what can happen.  I explained to them that in my 53 years of life, I’ve never been attacked, but the best thing I can do for myself is be aware.  I gave them some simple information and techniques about how to defend themselves, but the most important message was that they should never compromise their awareness.

Knowing how teen girls think, I asked for a raise of hands if they would willingly hand over their phones if someone was threatening them and asking them to give up their phones.  Let me just say that not a lot of hands went up.  No matter what we try to teach kids, they still have their own ideas about what is important and not worth giving up.  If we can’t sway them into realizing that “things” mean nothing in the scheme of life, they really are vulnerable.  This lesson must be emphasized with them.

Awareness,for all of us must be an every minute thing.  If you ride in the subway, shop at a store, or walk down a street, it is important to know who is around you, where you are going and if anything seems suspicious.  No matter where you are, you should have a reasonable idea of what you need to do to escape or exit.

It is not possible to perform a personality analysis on every individual with whom we come in contact.  We can’t possibly memorize the floor plan of every building or the escape routes.  There are times when we must trust, and times when we can’t be rude.  Learning your own personal tolerance, where and how you feel discomfort in different types of situations, is key.  If you feel threatened and someone has clearly invaded your personal space, I fully recommend yelling “stop!” or running away.  Being rude if you feel threatened, my friends, is no crime.

Prudent decisions based on awareness can save your life.  Trust your Instincts. If you have ever felt that tingling sensation in your spine, like something is definitely not right, then put awareness into high gear.  That is the time to take action, to detect and avoid, before anything bad happens.

Awareness is for everyone.  None of us expects to be threatened at gun point in a parking garage, or anywhere else. We can’t control every situation or defend ourselves completely one hundred percent of the time.  Sometimes, things just happen.  We may need to fight back at some point, but before anything like that ever comes close to happening, you must be proactive, not reactive.  Know your surroundings.  Adapt a keen sense of awareness.   Stop and look around.  Beware of the snakes, poisonous or not. It is your most important self-defense, ever.

Andrea

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My book, The Martial Arts Woman, is available here: www.themartialartswoman.storenvy.com or on Amazon!