I guess the title of this post sounds a little demanding and perhaps a touch disgruntled.  I think that is what it takes to remind all of us that we are often headed in the wrong direction. As a martial artist, I always try to take the high road, give credit where credit is due, and be a positive influence.  I believe that is the way we should all strive to be.

Somewhere in between the blurred lines of life, negativity and scorn have taken a foothold.  It exists in the news, in the media, and social media, and in the very words that spew from our own mouths.  We all get caught up in a moment of passion or get so infuriated about something that we must say something; yet, we don’t always think the implications through.  Yes, I want to hear your opinion.  Yes, I care what you have to say.  Yes, you are important to me.  That is the very reason I must ask you to stop for a moment and just shut up. 

Here’s why:

1. No one wants to hear your negativity or complaining.

It is very easy to think that your problems are more difficult, horrible, or worse than the next guy.  It feels that way, doesn’t it?  Truth be told, unless you are talking to your best friend, your spouse, or someone to whom you can vent, no one else wants to hear your negativity or complaining.  Your divorce, your weight gain, or your bad day don’t need to invade or cascade my media wall.  We all have them.  They are discouraging, and we have to deal with them, but in private.

Be responsible. Don’t make others privy to your private troubles.  Just deal with them and when you’ve found the solution, I’d love to hear about your positive outcome.

2. You are not the only one with an opinion.

Right now, there is a lot of turmoil in the world.  There are a lot of political and religious views bubbling like lava out of a volcano.  I often see hateful posts about certain groups of people, religions, or attitudes.  I read them and think to myself:

“I fit in that category of people. Am I hated? People act like they like me.  They appear to be genuine in their friendship; yet they bash some of the things in which I believe. Who am I truly, in their eyes? Obviously they do not know I am part of that group of people or that belief.”

It’s a clear example that strong verbal opinions do not take into consideration actual people, friendships, and bonds that have developed.  Suddenly, one blanket opinion sweeps everyone into a dirty pile. Friends that I have of certain ethnicity don’t deserve some of the hard-core defamation that occurs online.

Opinions are not facts. They are not fully explored, developed, or researched, in most cases. For every opinion you have, there is an opposite opinion. Don’t use your opinions to create havoc or to draw negative attention to yourself or others.  I value the friendships and relationships that I have. I realize that I am not the only one with an opinion and I respect others.  There are evil people and good people.  Don’t confuse the two.  If you feel you need to bash, then just shut up.

3. Listen to what others have to say.

When you “shut up” for a few moments, you might actually have the opportunity to listen to what others have to say.  I mean really “listen,” not just swipe a “like” on a post. Many people are so busy sharing their own comments and opinions that they never stop to hear what anyone else has to say.  When you listen, you learn.  You identify other perspectives, and build your tolerance.  When you listen, you might just change your opinion, or see something in a new light.

As a martial artist, I find listening to others is a way to seek and encourage peace in a chaotic world. The basis of martial arts for me is, and always will be, defending when necessary, but never willfully striking first, and that includes with words or fists.

4. Humility takes a little practice.

We have all forgotten about humility, and yet I see it as a very big part of any martial art practice and of life.  To be humble is to eliminate the self-worship or self-indulgence that wants to inch its way into your life.  It is to remember those who have helped you, those who are suffering, and those whose needs far outweigh yours.  It negates opinions and hate, and incorporates listening.  It means to put others first.

There have been wars and political issues forever.  Everyone is ready to jump on the bandwagon to condemn and judge.  Arrogance and belligerence, just because you want to hear yourself talk, is the complete opposite of humility.  Could you do a better job?  If so, why not actually your opinions and beliefs, instead of just talking about them,  if you are so sure of yourself?

It’s time we take a closer look at this valuable virtue and actually apply it to our martial art practice and our lives.  It’s probably the one thing you should not shut up about.

5. Live like a black belt.

If you are a black belt, do you remember the day when you received it?  On that day, every bit of hard work you did culminated in a fiery moment of self-truth and self-discovery. All the effort and diligence paid off and made that moment one that will live on in your memory forever.  Everyone has accomplishments.  Everyone overcomes difficult moments, and has to face reality and disappointments. The black belt understands challenges and how to overcome and persevere.  We are all called to examine ourselves as black belts.  A black belt, if held to the highest of standards, will never betray or belittle.  He has respect at all times.

How do we expect respect from our children, or our youngest martial artists, if we do not act as the examples?

Live like a black belt, or shut up.

I guess I’ve gotten my little rant out of my system. The very large world of online social media has its good and bad sides.  In one way, it can help promote positive thoughts and behaviors, such as the benefits of being a martial artist; on the other, there is lot of unsolicited opinions and comments and negativity that we could all do without.

Next time you feel anger rising, want to bash someone, or have nothing positive to say, ask yourself this:  Is this worth posting? Do I really agree with this? Should I say what I’m thinking or should I just….shut up?

Andrea