So, you’ve been practicing a long time, right? It has practically been a lifetime of training, teaching, and moving up the ranks. You have great students and a thriving martial arts school. Everything is just as it should be.
The kids that you teach have tenacity. They are like any group of kids, emotional one minute, complaining the next, but always striving for martial arts learning. They know what it means to be a black belt because they see it in you. You are the prime example. You carry the responsibility of teaching them valuable concepts far beyond the contrived movements in your style. Respect and dedication lead the way. The younger ones are sure to have some talents that you don’t have. My daughter can practically kick over her head and beyond, and I’m not sure how she’s been blessed with that because I’m not that flexible. Another student can run and perform a jump kick over a few students who are crouched down and break a board or two at the end. Other students are good at fighting. They don’t always like kata, but put them in the ring and they shine. In many cases, if I pinpoint one certain thing about each student, I can say that they are “better than me” in something.
I’m good with that. I’m more than an instructor, and that is true for most martial art instructors. Coach. Life skills master. Hero. It’s easy to accept until….a new adult student walks in the door. You see raw talent when he just looks you in the eye, never mind when he executes a skill. Do you ever worry that you cannot teach someone like that because he is going to become better than you?
The class moves forward and you show a skill or two. Everyone follows, catching the flow of your rhythm in the quiet room. The pace holds breath in the air and the swish of gi’s. Everyone is in unison for now. You are the leader, brave and strong, showing them of what you are made. In the corner of your eye, though, you see him. Efficient and proficient. Half your age? Solidly built like a truck, strong, flexible, and an easy learner.
Have no fear. Even if he picks up the skills quickly, he is a lifetime behind you. The truth is that he looks good because he’s also light years younger than you. When he’s beyond white belt, and puts in his time, he starts to spar and you think you should avoid fighting him for fear that he might win. His leg stretches far, his fists are sturdy. He is worthy of your instruction and you must share it.
Nothing is as it seems. Your imagination has gone a little wild because no one, and I mean no one…is like you. No one will ever be better than you because “you” are made up of years and years of practice, experience, and wisdom. As you get older, your role changes slightly. You can still perform the skills, but there will always be someone who can out-perform you. Nature takes its course. I admit it, being an instructor is not all that easy. I’m fit and flexible, but I am still much older than most of my students.
It is an interesting scenario for sure. It’s not that you don’t have self-confidence. It’s more a reminder that you need to worker harder to achieve the same result as someone half your age, and that is not a bad thing. That’s why I’m in the gym several times a week, and why I practice in the first place, all to be a better me today than I was yesterday.
For me, being a better person today means supporting others who need direction, or who want to find something special in their lives. That’s why I’m talking to you today, and that’s exactly why I’m an instructor of many, many years. The best word of advice is to not worry about the new super-student, but only about yourself. Be the best instructor you need to be, even when it means watching your own students become better than you in some aspects of the arts.
Simply, worry about yourself; not the new super-student. Ultra-comparisons that don’t focus on the overall picture will leave you feeling worthless or less than you really are. A leader must help others forge ahead in their goals in order and be an example to others. If you’ve reached an age when your students are physically stronger or more flexible than you, then so be it. They still do not have the lifetime of knowledge or the powerful mindset that you have.
Opportunity presents itself in many ways. How you decide to look at it makes all the difference. The new student? I’m proud of him. I welcome him. I can even learn from him. Like a parent, or the leader of a family, my sole purpose as an instructor is to make him the best he can be, even if that means in some skills, he exceeds me. I’m going to continue to encourage him to go even higher. The best thing I can do for this spirited new student is…. help him. Help him beat me, help him kick higher, help him hone those natural skills into complex and precise movements to make him stand out.
How do I really feel when I have a student with super potential? I feel lucky. It’s very similar to being a parent.
I have four children. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish inside that they have an even better life than I have. I want them to find a solid future, financial security, happiness, success, and pursue their talents and passions. I want them to be happier than I am, be more satisfied, more understanding, truthful, compassionate, and daring. Everything that I am, I want to multiply it for them. That is because my mission, as a parent, is to raise them into responsible, productive, and caring adults. I would love it if they achieved their dreams, even if I’m still searching for mine. Sacrifice and selflessness make up a good parent, and make up a good martial art instructor, too.
Who knows if the new student will even stick around very long. Students quit martial arts at varying levels of proficiency. That is why there are so few black belts. So, all of this worry is very misguided. This situation will teach you humility and that is one of the best characteristics of any good instructor.
If your student is better than you….ask yourself this:
Is he better than all of your years of hard work and effort, sacrifice and expression? Better than your warrior mindset, your positive outlook, the way you’ve applied martial arts philosophies to your life? Better than the way you help each student succeed, or the way you help them build self-confidence and good ego, so they can achieve their goals? No. He is not better, and, he deserves better than any silly comparisons you might be making in your mind.
Next class, strive to make your students better than you. Then, and only then, will you become better yourself.
Andrea
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I hope one day I have student’s better than me..trust me.. As we get older we forget things.. I call them brain farts..lol..And its good to have a Senior Student. Who remembers your way of teaching…
Yes, so true. And they can carry on the very valuable traditions and martial arts beliefs and mindset that we share with them!
An important topic, Andrea.
If you aren’t trying to help your students to become better than you, then you are failing as a teacher. I mean, what’s the point of experience if not to guide the next generation to go farther than you? Only an idiot would be proud of training students who are worse.
Exactly! That’s why you are such a good teacher!
The best way to comment on this great article is to compare being a martial arts instructor to being a parent. When each new student enters the training hall, they are newborns-adult and child alike. Granted, some who enter the training hall have some martial arts training from previous styles, and like any parent, a martial arts instructor must help to break bad habits-for instance if a student’s punching or kicking motions are a bit too flashy, then the instructor has to help them unlearn what they have learned. Like the military drill-sergeant whose task it is to first break down the old, flawed individual, and create a new refined person. The same principle applies to a martial arts instructor. Martial arts instructors are building new people through the hard, long training to have good character, be of sound mind, pure of heart, and an indomitable spirit. And just as with parents, martial arts instructors strive for their students to be better because they want these students to use their knowledge for the betterment of humankind. Parents want their offspring to be better than they were, because that is the natural order of life. Each new generation is supposed to be better than the last. And so when students pass their black belt exam and the instructor places the black belt around the student’s waist, and they bow to each other, it is a true sense of accomplishment that the martial arts instructor feels because she has watched the student grow and form into a strong person. She’s a proud mother of sorts. Great post, Sensei! 🙂
A perfect analogy, thank you! And quite a nice paragraph, too!
A very good article and very wise statements
Hi Andrea, and a great post. I agree, a good teacher/instructor should strive to make sure that their students are in some ways better than them. Experience is about learning from mistakes and a good teacher can help their students by using hindsight to prevent them from making some of those same mistakes in the first place. 🙂
I agree. Help them not make the same mistakes and strive to help them achieve!
Ossu! Years and years ago when I was a teenager and the equivalent of the rank I am now I often taught the “first lesson is free” and brought beginners up to speed. Two adult guys who I taught went on to outrank me. I languished at the same rank. This discouraged me no end and I resented those guys. They didn’t deserve my resentment – I wasn’t making any progress because my doctor failed to diagnose a medical condition and I failed to recognize what was exacerbating the symptoms. I quit Karate, they continued. I don’t know what happened with one of the guys, but I do know the other was awarded his Shodan posthumously (killed in a car wreck right before his test). Last year when I took up Karate once again, I realized I’m proud of those guys and am glad I was a part of their success. My former resentment of them poisoned me.
When you resent someone, it’s never a good thing. 🙂 But, in hindsight, you’ve figured it all out.
Well written and many valid points.
I always worry that I’ll never be able to teach my students enough or that I may not be teaching them correctly.
I strive to teach them what they need to defend themselves when attacked by someone that wants to seriously hurt them.
At times I question myself about whether I am good enough or teaching them well …
Thank you, Sensei. I believe good instructors always have a little bit of that fear in the back of their minds….perhaps that’s the reason I wrote this.