Moms are like superheros. They can do everything.  Work. Change Diapers. Drive. Feed. Dry tears. Comb hairs. Dress. Design. Shop. Engage. Smile. Hug. Love. All of these wonderful mom behaviors are perfect and necessary, but interfere with awareness and self-protection. Moms are tired (a lot), always busy, rushing, and unable to divert their attention away from their children. Here’s what I’ve seen and what I know could use a little work in the mom self-defense department.

1.  Child in tow

Have you ever watched a young mom with her one, two, three, maybe even four young kids? There is a lot of commotion just getting into the car, never mind actually traveling to a destination, getting back out of the car, doing what needs to get done, then getting back in the car to head home.

She’s flustered, and it’s understandable.

I was there too, many years ago.  Although it was demanding, I loved it and felt happy about life and my job as a mom.  I saw life through rose-colored glasses because I had created these children who loved me unconditionally and I would do anything for them.  No, nothing bad ever happened to me, thank goodness, but looking back I can see how it could have.  I never paid attention to the people around me, others in line, folks at the gas station, or even the clerk behind the counter.  I was committed to making sure my kids were near me, and that they were behaving.  The worst embarrassment is when kids act out or run around uncontrollably.

This is a lack-of-awareness situation.  I’m not contending that something bad will happen to this type of mother.  For sure I was her many times and nothing ever happened to me.  Hopefully being surrounded by kids will buffer her safety.  Perhaps an attacker would choose to find an easier target.  The fact is, though, that her awareness has been limited to the point she doesn’t even realize it.

Awareness is now and ever will be the best defense.

2.  Sacrifice

Moms are so busy taking care of kids and others in the family, maybe even working full-time, that they tend to not think about themselves as much. They spend their hours focused on family. When do they have time to read a book, attend a class or a workshop or relax?  Literally these years of their lives are put on hold while they care for others.   It’s as if they are in the Bermuda Triangle of life because they get sucked right in to a family vortex, wonderful as it is and difficult as it is.

When a mom sacrifices, she lets her guard down.  She wants to show the kids how to be loving so she may give the homeless man a dollar. The layers of sacrifice often build during these young mom years as she tries to teach her kids the right way to be.

In sacrificing so much, she forgets to worry about herself.  “Should I put on makeup today or just make a ponytail work?  Should I dress up or grab the “soccer mom” look and go with it?  They never ask “should I pay more attention?” 

Sacrifice limits awareness.

3.  Physical Strength

Some moms also eliminate or don’t have time to work-out to strengthen stamina or physical strength.  They don’t find time for self-defense classes either.  Completely understandable.  The only time I was not strongly active in the martial arts was when I was a young mom.  I worked out, but it was limited.  The criteria were kids were asleep, I was awake enough, and I had an inch of energy left.

The person who works out gains stamina and can run.  The person who lifts weights or does a few push ups here and there gains some strength.

A  mom?  Time is of the essence.  Working out is a personal plus that might not regularly happen.

What to do, what to do?

Clearly, a mom has a lot on her mind.  She’s busy night and day, working, making sacrifices, and has little time to work on physical fitness.  What is the answer to better personal protection or keeping safe?

Learning self-defense cannot change any of the things the mom is doing.  It can’t make her turn her focus away from the kids.  She can’t constantly check to see if someone is lurking. Chances are things are safe and a woman with a kid or two in tow is not going to be first up on the predators list.  Still, what can she do to make herself just a tad bit safer?

Here are some self-defenses a mom carries around right in her diaper bag (and if you’re a lady with a purse, figure out what’s inside it that you can use for a weapon!):

1. That big diaper bag is hefty and heavy enough so don’t carry too many bags at a time!  Use that thing as a weapon as necessary!  Swing it, strike with it, or just use it as a buffer between you and an assailant.

2.  A baby’s bottle full of liquid makes a great hard weapon.  Hold it in your hand if you’re uncomfortable.  Have it ready to hit someone with it in any  “sensitive” area.

3.  Grab a baby blanket and if someone infiltrates your personal space and you feel threatened, throw the blanket over their eyes.   Or wave it back and forth in front of their face.  Baby clothes can be used in this manner, too.  It is disorienting for the attacker and can help buy time.

4.  If car/house keys are in the diaper bag, you have an instant weapon. If they are at the bottom of the diaper bag, then go for the bottle or any other item first.  Keys usually activate a car alarm, they are pointy, and if you have several on a ring they hurt if you used them to slap someone in the face.

5.  Diapers.  Haha.  Not sure what to say about these except a dirty smelly one could knock someone out in an instant.

6.  Gibberish.  Look, you’ve been around babies for a while right?  Some of them cannot even speak real words yet.  If someone comes up to you and is verbally abusive or threatening, you can possibly de-escalate the situation by changing their thought process by using gibberish.  Start saying things that make absolutely no sense.

My sisters friend eats ice-cream after breakfast.  I don’t know who Santa Claus is.  What planet should the earth fly past?

This can possibly disrupt an attackers thought pattern.  Where they may have been thinking, “I will take this person away with me,” they start suddenly thinking, “what is she saying???”  That’s a darn good minute to try to get away.

7.  Bedtime Story. A good bedtime story for the kids to carry in your diaper bag would be one that touches lightly on if someone tries to grab them or take them away.  Teach kids to yell “this is not my mommy” or “this is not my daddy.”  These particular words will make someone take notice a lot more readily than anything else they can yell.

8.  Hairbrush, makeup, hat, sunscreen, water bottle, pen, pencil, notebook and aerosols.  Any ole’ thing that might be pent-up in that big diaper bag can be used as a distraction or a weapon.  Throw it, hit with it, pour it, spray it, poke with it.

A superhero has powers that exceed the human capacity.  I think moms fit into that category.  They spend so much time focusing on others that they let their own guard down.  Let’s remind moms how important their role as mother is and that they need to take a moment to identify a few diaper bag defenses of their own.  They should think through a few ideas and have a plan in mind.

A good, loud quick yell of “no” or “stop” is a handy defense that you can carry with you wherever you go.  The use of your body, such as using the back of your head to strike someone’s face, Your foot to step on an assailant’s foot, your hands to strike to the groin, or spitting in the face are good deterrents.  These you can keep right in your back pocket (wink, wink).

To all the moms out there, you are doing a fantastic job.  Raising great kids through giving of yourself is the exact thing our world needs today.  What we don’t need is or want is for you to be at risk or in danger, so loosen up the strings of that diaper bag and make sure you know what’s inside and how it can help you defend yourself if the need ever arises.

Keeping moms and young kids safe – That is Winning at Life for all of us.