Today I checked out of a hotel after a four night stay. The vacation was mostly relaxing, although I did some work along the way, set a few appointments, and finished up a few projects.  Well, that’s me.  I cannot turn off my brain! Being away from home helped, though.  I cut down on the work and relaxed much more than usual.  I totally blew my “work out as much as possible” theory because I didn’t practice karate nor did I step foot in the gym.  I won’t lie.  I gingerly packed my workout clothes and my socks and sneakers in my bag with every intention of doing something…anything…but I didn’t.  I enjoyed not doing it for a change.  A vacation is the time to really change it up, isn’t it?  That’s what I did and I left every single routine behind.

When I was at the hotel, I did some of my favorite things. Sunning. Eating. Swimming. Time with my family. I was a little lazy. I had no pressures. It all started the moment I checked in. Even at the desk, the clerk was smiling and happy. “Welcome and enjoy,” she said. I knew I was in the right place. I needed this break.  I needed to feel welcomed and to forget about everything else for a little while.

How many times have you felt this way, too? Whether you have a few responsibilities, or a lot, after a while the grind settles in. Daily commitments, the ups and downs; there is simply no way to check out of any of that. There are problems to resolve and fears to overcome, patience to increase, and battles to win.  There are definitely a few feelings and actions from which I’d like to “check out” more frequently.  I’d like to leave behind the times I feel inadequate or compromised, or the moments I’ve felt embarrassed or sad, or the times I made the wrong choices or fell flat on my face. Those would be the perfect times to just check out of the discouragement hotel.

Your life, friends, is a little bit like a hotel.  The amenities can be plentiful or the place can be the pits.  The view can be amazing, or you can be staring at a big empty wall.  The room can be immaculate and clean, or there can be garbage around the place.  What would you choose?

Let’s face it.  If you go to a hotel or on vacation and the place is dirty, there is no reason to be there.  If no one treats you kindly, or the room is too small for your needs, you should not stay.  Even if you feel badly telling the concierge or the attendant that it’s not for you, it is still what you need to do. You are paying for an experience that is not hitting the mark.

In your life, you are free to make choices, good or bad, helpful or harmful, interesting or boring, worthy of your time or not.  Everything is already in place like an a la carte menu.  As you walk through the days of your life, you can pick up the guidance, habits, and offerings that surround you.  I have made some uneventful turns, chosen the wrong menu items on occasion, or stopped at the wrong hotel, so to speak.  I’ve said the wrong things and hurt feelings and I’ve gotten angry and insecure about things.  I’ve landed in the wrong direction, facing negativity, and thinking I had no chance of success.  For 40 years I wanted to be a writer, but I let fear guide me and I watched opportunities come and go.  It took someone who believed in me to push me into doing what I should have been doing all along.

The hotel of my life could age and lose its quality, or I can refurbish the entire thing and make it new again.

Martial arts are my refurbishment.  They are the cleansing of the old mistakes and the renewal of the moment.  I no longer dwell on the past or look too far into the future, because this moment right now is the only one I can affect.  I can choose to make this moment as worthy and as exciting as any vacation experience I could ever want.  Do I want an adventure, a challenge, or a change?

Twenty-six years ago I was still wondering who I was.  I had no understanding of what my body could do if I had a mind-body connection.  Like two lanes of traffic on the highway, my mind and my body were headed in different directions, never side by side in one direction. I would never make it to my destination if that continued!

Not until I started to practice karate and martial arts.

Learning a martial art, teaching it, applying it to my life, and blending my mind and my body together, was like checking into a five-star hotel, for me. The view is spectacular now.  The learning is continuous and the results are achievable.  I never thought, when I was younger, that I would be a martial artist or that in the middle years of my life I’d be devoted to teaching martial arts to others, writing about my experiences and martial arts wisdom, and constantly opening my eyes to new endeavors like life coaching and magazine writing.  Never.  I never, ever thought that.  What I did think and see and feel was that the chance to renew myself and my personal vision of who I am can be accomplished through martial arts. You have the same opportunity through your passions and your purpose.

The connection of the mind and body for the non-martial artist can be difficult to see.  How do actions like physical kicks and punches, dance-like movements, throws and yells have anything to do with a mindset?  Any experience and effort that allows you to cultivate a strong mind-body connection is the right place to be.

Let me ask it this way:  how do beautiful linens on a hotel bed, polished furniture, crystal lamps or a vase of welcoming flowers have anything to do with how you feel when you check into a hotel?  How is that different from stopping on a long journey to get a few hours rest at a quick,inexpensive hotel on the side of the road?  Both serve a purpose.  The differences are clear to see, but what is in your mind about the experience says it all.  Does the experience drive the mindset or does the mindset drive the experience? If you are tired and can’t drive any longer, the hotel on the side of the highway is just fine.  But, if you spend a lot of money for a vacation resort or to stay somewhere special for whatever reason, your expectations are higher.

Set your personal expectations higher than you have ever set them before.  Sure, you can get through each day just following routine and allowing worry and negativity to guide you; or, you can change all of that and check into the right mindset, right here, right now.  Check-in is available 24/7.

For me and for many martial artists, learning a martial art is like adding a valuable layer to an already good life.  Learning to properly extend the leg into a kick, to memorize movements, experience self-defense tactics that really work, flow from one movement to another, block and throw, are layer after layer that add self-confidence, value and worth to a martial artist’s life.  You and I rarely realize that we are capable of this life upgrade, which is ever-worthy of five stars.

I struggled over the years to stay consistent with my karate practice.  There were times when I had to stop for a period of time, but there was a nagging in the back of my mind always reminding me that I must return.  It never left until I got back into the swing again, where I was meant to be.  Checking-in to martial arts always felt right.

Not to minimize anything, the practice of a martial art workout is a far cry from a cushy “vacation.”  Being pushed to a personal extreme, or having to memorize choreographed fight moves, or learning a series of patterns, can be exacerbating; however, those very same actions are what make it feel right and worthwhile.  After you’ve gone through the motions and practiced, spent time in the dojo, you return to the one place you cannot leave or from which you cannot check-out, and that is you.  You are the key to the entire experience.  You are the one who decides if the doors in front of you lead to a beautiful resort or a fly-by-night hotel.

A martial art is partly that vacation I seek. After all, it allows me to un-think all the junk I’ve been thinking. When I’m teaching, I am too preoccupied in trying to serve the students to think about anything else. The young children who need tears and noses wiped, the teens who are learning to not be self-conscious, and the adults who have a lot of hope to excel in a personal achievement need my full attention. Then, in class, I have to show them the movements of the kata. “Almost, almost, you’re almost there,” I proclaim.

I have no time to consider the dirty dishes at home, or the laundry, or the fact that I have a lot of work waiting for me elsewhere. When I am in the midst of a martial art there is no reason to think of anything else. For that bit of time, my mind is on vacation; there are no personal thoughts allowed because I am drenched in teaching and practicing a martial art.

Any martial artist will tell you that if you are “checked-out” from your martial art focus, then you are missing one of the benefits to studying an art.  This is the perfect time to relieve stress and let go of the daily burdens. Then, you head home feeling fulfilled, feeling right about things, and ready to conquer what else your life has waiting for you.

I’d prefer, like on vacation, to always“check-in” to the place in my life that is exciting and happy; a place where the feel-good times create experiences that strengthen me or give me opportunities.  I want to forge ahead in my personal pursuit of excellence.  I want to “do” and “act” and not delay because I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  Today I choose to check-in to the person I want to be.

Yes, there will be days and moments that feel like compromise.  There will be aches and pains and hurts and disappointments.  I cannot avoid the true obstacles that will be placed in my path that will force me to check-out on occasion.  Like those moments when my delayed martial art practice was tugging on my heart-strings, I can always check back in to the best hotel, the best room, the best mindset, that is available to me at the time.

I’m happy to say I have another vacation planned in October, a six night cruise with my mother.  I’m thinking about leaving the exercise clothes at home this time.  I have a feeling I won’t wear them.

Welcome aboard, friends; welcome to your life.  Make it whatever you want.  Enjoy a bit of a renewal, take a vacation from the commitments and daily grind. Check in to the luxury of knowing that you are making every moment count.

Help others.  Be unique.  Create a voice. Step out. Try something new. Don’t turn back.

Your vacation is waiting for you.

I’m telling you right now, I cannot wait until that day in October when I step upon that big cruise ship in front of a smiling steward to tell him, “I’m ready to check in.”  Why wait though?  I’m going to start right now by checking-in to the most unusual, valuable, unique, picture-perfect resort there ever was…a place I proudly call “my life.”

Andrea