Today’s blog focuses on something we all experience and it literally sucks joy from your life as fast as anything! Hopefully you are a positive person who seeks a life of joy and personal success. But what if that is all threatened, not by your negativity, but the negativity of someone else?

It is not easy to overcome the negativity of others, especially if their negativity is directed toward you. Keep in mind  that you can choose how their negativity affects you. Either you allow your own thoughts and actions to become negative, or you recognize that their negativity is based on jealousy, boredom, or bad personal experiences, all of which have nothing to do with you. You are just the unlucky recipient.

In all honesty, we all know that negative people have a negative affect on us even when we want to overcome the situation. It is what it is.

Negativity can come from friends, family, colleagues, or even strangers. It takes a good bit of resilience and determination to navigate the storm of negativity.

Fortunately, I learned a lot about resilience from martial arts.

I cannot tell you how many times I had to practice certain moves or techniques over and over until I got them right. But each and every time, I managed to figure them out and even get good at them. I had to create a positive mindset to do it. I realized that you never achieve success without having to break through obstacles and without putting forth the right about of determination. Negativity is just another obstacle to overcome.

Years ago, I had a co-worker who flat out didn’t like me. She was gossipy and spread rumors and did everything she could to make other people think I was lazy. She was immature and childish in many ways. It’s so ironic because I have this immense work ethic and everyone else who knows me sees it as clear as day. Still, her behaviors affected me. I found myself feeling insecure and as if I could not break free of the negativity she created. I tried the traditional routes of communication such as  talking to her directly, talking to my manager, venting to others. Nothing changed.

So, I changed.

I thought, “Well, it’s time for a new job because this is not a culture in which I can work.” Then I went out and found a new job and landed myself in a place where people care. I recognize now that resilience simply means to keep pushing through until you find a situation that is  authentically and genuinely right for you.

I know you cannot change jobs or neighborhoods or schools just because someone is negative. The point is that whatever the negative situation, you must find the right way to cope and push through it. The response is different depending on who the negative nanny is, but you will figure it out if you give yourself some time to organize your thoughts and actions.

So, if you find yourself in a situation or around people who are negative, don’t think that your only choice is to listen to it or believe it. Even if the negativity is not about you, but about almost every other possible thing, you must determine where to place your resilience and determination to overcome it.

My best advice is:  CHOOSE YOU. Choose you because you deserve a positive life and the alternative destroys your joy. Seek out individuals who uplift and inspire and who believe in you and your dreams as fervently as you do. Their encouragement and support is a counterbalance to the negativity.

The key to overcoming the negativity of others lies within you. If you let it get to you, it destroys your dreams. If you stay resilient and focused, you can overcome it. Believe in yourself, surround yourself with positivity, and don’t let anyone’s negativity hold you back.

xoxo

Andrea

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