Someone asked me recently when I was going to start saying “no” to all the different requests that I receive from people to write, review, or help in some way.  He saw that I was starting to feel overwhelmed a little bit and pulled in many directions.  It happens.  I feel as if saying “no” will make others conclude that I do not think their efforts are important to me. So, I say “yes” and work diligently to meet all of the self-imposed deadlines I have, and so far I’ve done it successfully.

I realized, though, that I am pretty exhausted. I am driven to blog because that is my personal outreach to the world. I want to write for magazines because they help me spread the word about how martial arts are so important in our society today.  I do little “voice introductions” for other podcasters, am interviewed, and respond to each and every e-mail and message that comes my way.

I don’t say “no” because I want to do it all.

In an effort to get things under control and not miss a deadline or a response, I decided to come up with a plan to help me make it all happen.  I have a bunch of deadlines and responsibilities in my head that relentlessly swirl and take up my brain space. Can I do it all, or will I burn out?

It struck me that there is something I can do that I am not doing and that is to prioritize, but not compromise.

It is the same when you learn a martial art.  What is really important? Many complain about practicing the same beginner forms over and over because they do not feel like they are moving ahead. However, if you do not rely on the basics throughout your training, then you will compromise real learning. The basics are the priority. Do not compromise.

A new student wants to learn everything, and right away.  “When am I going to learn that?” they ask, when they should be focusing on the task at hand.  “Nothing else can be learned, until you learn this,” I always respond.  “This” is the priority.  “This” is the basis.  “This” will someday lead to “that,” but not now.  To move forward too quickly is a compromise not worth taking.

In order to keep my “production” under control, efficient, and meaningful, I need to start to prioritize and compartmentalize a little more, but never compromise that which I am trying to achieve.

I am always adding more to my existing repertoire of things to do. In order to not compromise my other responsibilities, I need to have a step by step approach because I’m a very linear person.  To move forward is the only direction I know.

My new “plan” is perfect for you, too.  Each step is worth exploring because everyone deals with “too much” in one way or another.  Too much stress, too much difficulty, too much discouragement, or too much to do always top the list.  No matter what, “too much” is out of control unless you place importance on your priorities and organize the rest.

Let’s work through this plan together. Here’s what will work for me, and I bet it will hit home for you, too.

1. Focus.  I admit it, when there is a lot going on, I lose focus.  How about you?  I start one writing project, then flip to another, then wonder why I did not finish the first one yet. I need to turn off the phone, shut out distractions and stay determined. Do not worry. When you are finished with that particular activity, your phone and every other distraction under the sun is still available and anxiously waiting for you.
2. List.  Make a list of everything you need to get done.  Put down on paper the small things, big commitments, and in-between or unusual tasks and special projects. Here’s the important part.  Don’t freak out!  Make your list with hopeful accomplishment in mind, even if you write a whole book. The list is your starting point and it can only get better from here.
3. Rank.  Take that list (and stop crying, ha!) and identify the easiest tasks. Give them an asterisk.  This means you can probably knock them out sort of quickly.  Then, identify the difficult or time-consuming tasks that ave significance or strict deadlines.  Give them a special color…like red or a highlight.  Everything else on the list are “filler” tasks (the ones you can turn to when you are bored with the easy ones and overwhelmed by the tough ones).  Rank each group, easy, medium, and difficult. You now have an orderly categorized and prioritized list with a few colors and you have not compromised anything. You can easily see what is important and what can wait.
4. Calendar.  Pull up that on-line calendar or even the old-fashioned paper kind (which is what I’m going to resort to using!).  Don’t just list due dates or dates of specific events but add ten day reminders before each task or event due date. For example, “newsletter articles due in ten days.” This will hold you accountable.  Instead of shocking yourself because you forgot a due date or to check your calendar, this reminder will help to keep you on track.  And, it is part of the prioritization process.
5. Modify.  So, you  have your hefty list which feels miles longer than Santa’s good and bad list.  You have marked your calendar and ranked priorities based on importance and due dates.  Yikes! What if there is no way you can accomplish all of that on time? You are in luck.  Because you have prioritized NOW and not waited until the projects are essentially due, you have allowed yourself to not compromise.  If there are tasks you clearly cannot finish on time, or even ever complete in your lifetime, do the right thing and contact the originator of the request and let them know.  Be honest, up front, and fair.  Give them the amount of time they need to find a replacement or to modify the due date or original request, if that is all you need.
6. Succeed.  I know exactly what I’m going to do after I finish this blog post, and that is to list and prioritize the many tasks and commitments I have to conquer.  I am going to get these in order so my mind can be freed to get them done, instead of trying to mentally prioritize.  Best of all, I don’t have to compromise my work ethic, my responsibilities, or my opportunities.

I know that prioritization, and not compromise, really works.

I was a yellow belt in my class for a whole year twenty-six years ago.  It was frustrating and although I was ready to move up, I only went to class once per week at that time.  Yes, once per week.  That’s insane! I missed test times and other class times due to other work commitments and so I figured once or twice a week was better than nothing.

The truth is that I learned a lot more than some other students because every class to which I went I was with the beginners again and again, working on the same skills, over and over.  I admit I became a little frustrated, but looking back I see how valuable that was. The priority for my teachers and for me was to practice until proficient.

I wore a yellow belt but was, in most ways, more advanced. But, there was no compromise. A yellow belt is a yellow belt, until she tests and moves up.  After that year my instructor walked up to me and handed me the next belt.  I had earned it because priorities were more important than compromise for me, and I had proved that.

The only person, to whom you have to prove anything is you.  Although you may feel overwhelmed at times about the many roles you play or the many tasks on your to-do list, don’t worry. You can prioritize and organize your commitments and responsibilities to a level where you can sufficiently complete them and feel good about them.

If there is too much on your plate, then modify, but don’t wait until the last-minute or until you are so frazzled that you feel like you cannot accomplish everything. When asked to do something or before adding to your existing full plate, think for a few moments before agreeing to more tasks.

I can’t tell you how much better I feel now.  My first priority, as soon as I am done writing this, is to prioritize!  I never, ever want to compromise who I am or what I hope to accomplish.

Andrea

My new book, The Martial Arts Woman, is now available. Purchase through my e-commerce store: http://themartialartswoman.storenvy.com/ or on Amazon!

The Martial Arts Woman shares the stories and insights of more than twenty-five women in the martial arts, and how they apply martial arts to their lives. Unlike most other martial art books, the reader will catch a glimpse into the brave and empowered woman who dares to be all that she can be. Many of these women had to overcome great societal or personal challenges to break into the men’s world of martial arts. This book will motivate and inspire you to go after your goals in life and to fight through every challenge and defeat every obstacle. The Martial Arts Woman will open your eyes to the power of the human spirit and the martial art mindset that dwells in each of us!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Andrea F. Harkins is a  writer, motivator, life coach, martial artist, and public speaker. Her book, The Martial Arts Woman, is now available at themartialartswoman.storenvy.com or on Amazon!

Andrea is Internationally known for her positivity through martial arts efforts and outreach, and her writing. She is currently a columnist for Martial Arts Illustrated UK, The Martial Arts Guardian (UK), the World Martial Arts Magazine, MASUCCESS, Conflict Manager, Martial Arts Business (Australia), The Parrish Village News, and her blog, The Martial Arts Woman.  Contact her through this website’s CONTACT ME page for information on public speaking, autographs, and life coaching.