As an established blogger, I often get asked by new bloggers if they should promote their writing more via social media.  Their first concern is criticism.  Bloggers put themselves out there in the world in a number of different ways.  Their grammar, their ideas, their opinions, their beliefs and their personalities are subject to criticism, if they are brave enough to share.

I have to admit it, I completely understand.  I was worried, too.  After all, I often weave my most difficult life experiences into my stories and even though it is all my opinion and my own thoughts, someone, somewhere, might object to my meaning, my content, or my disclosures.  It’s me, right out in the open and in any moment arrows can be pummeled at me from any direction.  It is a scary thought, but really, it doesn’t frequently happen that way.  A couple of times someone has “disagreed” with me, but those disagreements ended up working in my favor.  My words actually sounded better because the disagreements were clearly not serving a good purpose.

Back to the beginning, though.  When I first starting my blogging endeavor, I felt completely disheartened at the thought of criticism.  This is a mind game that you play.  You get overly concerned about what someone might think before they have even have the chance to think it. You flip your own negativity back and forth before you actually  proceed with your goals, such as going to a new school, starting a new business, taking a karate lesson, beginning a new job, meeting new people, or writing a blog.  Your own criticism builds before anyone else even has a chance to criticize it!

When I started to write my blog, I was my own worst critic.  I would wonder:

• Did I use the right tense in that sentence?
• What if someone thinks I’m not telling the truth?
• Does this personal story sound too crazy to share?
• Do I seem like a real martial artist?
• Am I helping someone by writing this?

While a little bit of self-scrutiny is a good idea, worry about criticism will hold you back from your true purpose.  Share the message that you want to share, whether you are a writer, a friend, a mother, a co-worker, a boss, or a spouse.  Don’t allow the thought of criticism dissuade you. I almost did….

Until I found the key, the trick, the missing piece, to all of this worry.

Brushing even the slightest criticism away feels like running your hand over a cactus.  It hurts when it is happening, and if you allow it, the prickly needles remain in your fingertips for a long time.

How many times have one small criticism made a big impact on you? Someone didn’t like what you said, what you wore, why you did something, or where you went?  Their prickly, critical words stung.  If you are not careful, and if you lack self-confidence, the effects last a good, long time.

The key?  The trick?  The missing piece?

Stay true to you.What matters the most is not what others might think of you, but what you think of you.

I know that I have a lot to share about overcoming obstacles by using a strong and powerful martial art mindset. Realizing this as my steadfast mission guides me directly and succinctly where I want to go.  Before you can get past any fears of being criticized in life, for whatever reason, you must engage your mission fully and thoroughly.  Believe in yourself and the rest will fall into place.  Criticism still stings, but usually the cactus points have nowhere to stick.

My initial goal for my blog (besides the long-term goal of helping others live a better life) was to find one reader.  If one person found it inspiring or motivational, then I would continue.  When I allowed my mission to stick, my self-confidence to flourish, and stopped projecting what criticism might come my way, everything started to fall into place.  One reader turned into two, turned into three, then four, and more. I know what I want and where I am going, and no one can shake that.

Criticism comes in all shapes and sizes. My daughter told a few friends that she wants to get her hair cut.  She wants it shorter than she’s ever worn it before.  Several people  told her not to, because she looks good the way she is now.  While that is true, in and of itself, it is a criticism.  Are they more concerned about what they want to see instead of what she wants?  Do they at all consider  her point of view or are they being subtly critical, thinking she could not look as good with a different style?  I am happy that she is self-confident enough to wish they would just say, “great, go for it!” She is mature enough to tell me that it doesn’t matter that they are not supportive; she knows it is what she wants. Other girls at a tween age might have difficulty coping with their self-image.  One small criticism like this could affect them negatively because of their lack of experience with self-confidence.

Confidence can be shaken through criticism, but it can also be strengthened.  For every negative, there is a positive.

The thought of being criticized struck when I proclaimed my twenty-six year martial art journey as the basis of my blog and my mindset.  Part of the apprehension was that some other veteran, experienced in street fighting or grappling or MMA, would challenge me.  “Let’s see what you can do, Ms. 26 year martial arts veteran.”  I’ll be honest, I don’t know anything about grappling or fighting, and my initial angst was that I’m not trendy.  I’m not modern.  I’m not contemporary. I don’t fight.  I don’t grapple.  I don’t hit people in the face, up close and personal.  I’m 52 years old.  While fit, I could never stand up against these guys or their artful experiences.  I can’t compete on that level.  I only know what I know.

I only know what I know! That is another key to overcoming criticism!

What I write is what I know.  I don’t try to stretch across broad categories of which I have no knowledge base.  Self-confidence boosts  when you stick with your knowledge and your own style. In the face of criticism, I now say “bring it on!” because the more criticism I get, the more readers I have and more readers is my goal.  Spreading a positive martial arts mindset message far and wide is my vision.  On occasion, someone will point out a flaw in my blog post or disagree with my opinion.  My response is always, “thanks, I respect your opinion,” because that is all I ever want anyone to do for me.  Critical people who nit-pick ideas and thoughts will always exist. Their impact on you, is up to you.

Blogging gave me the chance to share my martial art mindset with you and I continue to be drawn to sharing the lessons that I’ve learned so you can cope with your own worries and fears. The person who takes action, who believes in himself, trusts his own instincts, and works toward making something good and positive happen, is going to Win at Life.

Don’t shy away from opportunities or dreams or goals.  Don’t allow fear of criticism to infiltrate.  Life is full of criticisms, big and small, as evidenced by my daughter’s haircut scenario and my own initial fears of spreading my blog posts.  Deflect criticism and move on.

I’m a martial artist of twenty-six years and a blogger.  There’s not a single criticism in the world that can change that.

My final word to you is this:  I am absolutely positive that you can do whatever you want.  Be sure of yourself and your self-confidence will naturally trump criticism.

Andrea

www.themartialartswoman.com

https://www.facebook.com/themartialartswoman

http://www.themartialartswoman.com/personalized-life-coaching/