Life
Have you ever had a day when life feels like it is working against you, for whatever reason? Your expectations are uprooted, you are emotional, and maybe even anger brews right below the surface.
The problem, conflict, change or difficulty weighs on you. You feel slighted and unappreciated. You want to shut down and push it all away, but the frustration begins to control who you are. You’re traveling down a path of negative reactions.
Conflict
I have learned a lot about conflict over my life and why your reaction is so important. Unexpected circumstances and misfortunes are not easy, but they should never shake the core of who you are. You must remain grounded and remember that although you are free to “feel” however you want, your actions and decisions have consequences. There is no turning back once you take any drastic action. In fact, your actions can never be fully hidden or undone. Your reputation and your character are diminished in that single moment. In the end, rash reactions only hurt one person and that is you.
I love martial arts because they are all about reactions and they are a great parallel to life. Even within a fighting art, for example, where you might witness a lot of reactions, there is still respect and courtesy. Even within a sparring match, there is humility. This proves that even in a volatile moment, control of one’s emotions is important.
Learning to Fight
Many martial artists believe that you are taught how to fight so that you don’t have to fight. You learn to do what you can to avoid a fight or diffuse a fight. In life, taking the high road alludes to the same concept, taking the actions that allow you to move past the problem while maintaining your self-truth and integrity.
The fights and battles in your life require reactions that don’t paralyze you, but help you prioritize your next move.
Practice, Patience and Humility
The high road is high for a reason. It requires thought, practice, patience, and humility. We have the gift of thought and the option to make the right decisions.
In sparring training, things can get out of control, but they don’t. Why is that? Because the fight is not as much about physically beating the opponent as it is about fighting in the right way. Control, focus, decision-making, effective use of skills, and the ability to recognize an opening to score a point are the motivating factors. Yes, being able to fight to save your life is important. Training, after all, is about honing martial art skills for effective use. After the sparring match, you bow and move on. This act of respect is not a martial art skill or technique but rather a lesson in taking the high road.
Not every conflict has a happy ending or is easy to resolve. Sometimes there is no amicable solution. Allow yourself time to heal or mend and then lift your head again and climb back up to the high road. The high road will always be available.
Each Moment has a Reason
As you walk through life and experience the ups and downs, know that each moment has a reason and allows you to learn more about who you are. 
You are the only one who can create the attitude with which you want to live your life.
Always remain the person you want to be on the inside, no matter what outside influences impact your life.
I know why only a select few follow the high road. It takes effort to stay on it. Still, those who choose the high road never question if they did the right thing. They know they are traveling the right road. It leads them exactly where they want and need to go. Taking the high road is always worth it.
xoxo
Andrea
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My book, The Martial Arts Woman, is available here: The Martial Arts Woman: Motivational Stories of Human Triumph: Harkins, Mrs Andrea F.: 9781544916217: Amazon.com: Books
The Martial Arts Woman shares the stories and insights of more than twenty-five women in the martial arts, and how they apply martial arts to their lives. Unlike most other martial art books, the reader will catch a glimpse into the brave and empowered woman who dares to be all that she can be. Many of these women had to overcome great societal or personal challenges to break into the men’s world of martial arts. This book will motivate and inspire you to go after your goals in life and to fight through every challenge and defeat every obstacle. The Martial Arts Woman will open your eyes to the power of the human spirit and the martial art mindset that dwells in each of us!
Osu and thank you!
My father told me, “You can soar with the eagles or stay down there with the turkeys. It’s your choice.” He was, as usual, right.
I know exactly how you felt when you slapped your son. I felt the same way when I slapped my son (first born) for the first time. I will never forget the guilt I felt. I went into another room and I cried until my husband came home. I told him what our son had done and what I had done. My husband went and talked to our son. Then he came to me and hugged me. I will never forget how we talked it out. He said my temper got the better of me but the next time that happens, go into another room and think and pray about it. I never touched any of our children again. You can make that one dramatic mistake in your life. You must stop and think about it. You must have something in your life to help you. I am so blessed to have my husband and God.
I enjoyed this post, Andrea, thank you for writing and sharing it! Especially these words… “Always remain the person you want to be on the inside, no matter what outside influences impact your life. If you are a martial artist, you are bound by an even higher standard by virtue of your role. People will always look up to you because of your skills and your magical martial art aura. Never let one bad moment overshadow all of your diligent work.” So well articulated. I also love your new website design, very fresh!
Andrea,
Again, your message was so “spot on” this week. I have been praying about a situation with a friend, trying not to “react,” but to treat the situation with grace and patience. Thank you for putting it into beautiful words!