In my early 20’s, I got my first decent job.  The first thing I did with my new money was purchase a Gucci watch, some jewelry, and got braces to fix my teeth.  Life was good.  I had stuff and I would look better.  I was on my way to real success.

Material things were the way I showed my accomplishments.  How else would anyone know what kind of person I was?  I wanted them to be able to look at me and see the epitome of a young woman earning income and making her way in the world.  Purchased things fit the bill.  I didn’t have to say a word, but others would see that I was successful. There were a lot of things to buy and things that I wanted. I purchased some diamond rings and upgraded my engagement ring.  I ate dinner out a lot, saw movies, and had a decent car.  Everything was in order.

I didn’t learn until later in life that wants and needs combined together make weeds; and weeds do nothing but clutter the truth.  Materialism is when you consider material possessions and physical comfort more important than spiritual values.

Don’t get me wrong.  I still love “things.”  You deserve temporary happiness and a break from the routine and something new gives you that sense.  It’s nice to know that your hard work can be celebrated with a wonderful purchase.  Nothing wrong with that.  I still look forward to a new purchase or a great vacation, but it is in perspective now.  It is appreciated.

My Martial Arts Perspective

Karate is an empty/open hand, a mindset, and it offers a true sense of personal fulfillment.  It makes your imagination brighter, your faith stronger, and reveals your purpose.  Material things offer none of that.  Learning a martial art, and  facing some personal struggles, gave me the abrupt reminder that what I have will never reach the level of importance of who I am. Learning to decipher the difference between wants and needs and realizing that “things” are only temporary joys, has helped me to become a happier person.  There is a tendency toward over-abundance and if you wonder why it is so difficult to find peace within, it is because the space within has wants and needs that can’t be filled with material objects.

A martial art requires nothing of you other than a willingness to learn.  That learning later becomes a part of you.  Once it is engrained in you, your priorities change.  Along with the art itself, you learn about internal peace and your robust spirit.  An expensive object means nothing in that scheme.  Reaching the internal you puts you on the right track.  That first, then material things, will lead you to a better mindset.

Material Moments

The material things that I have now are important because of meaning or memory.  My mother-in-law gave me a couple of rings after I was first married.  I wear them frequently and think of her.  My husband bought me a jewelry box for one of our earlier anniversaries and it sits still on my dresser.  My car was purchased from a co-worker who offered me a deal I couldn’t turn down.  It is the people who bring the importance to the items that brings meaning to those things.

At times, your dreams of materialism may go awry.  When I was getting ready to build my house with my husband as the owner/builder, I was excited.  Finally, a new house of my own.  3000 square feet on a five acre plot.  I explored how I would decorate and what I wanted inside.  When my dream shattered and I was left to pick up the pieces of a half-built house, I learned another lesson.  What is important are four walls and a family. Once you reach that level of realization, your life changes.  I don’t compare myself to others when it comes to material objects because if I did I would feel like I was lacking.  When I compare myself to others regarding a positive mindset, I stand out and people often ask how they can feel that way, too.

That’s how I know that who you are and what you do with your life means much more than what you have.

My martial arts mindset carried me through a lot of trials and tribulations.  I learned to apply it to overcome difficult situations.  I figured out how to use breath to alleviate worry.  I began to anticipate the direction of my life in a forward momentum and decided to be centered around experiences instead of materialism.

Martial arts and materialism.  I understand both.  I desire both, but with a balanced perspective.

Earning Potential

To clarify, I don’t have many wants; but, I desire to create better experiences for myself and my family.  In order to pay for college for my kids, the mortgage, and other needs, I have to consider my earning potential.  It feels sort of contrary to trying to live with simplicity in mind, but money pays the bills.  It also offers the experiences that I seek.  Family vacations.  Celebrations.  Adventures.  Money, not materialism,  offers the chance to bond with others, share, create, and experience.

I’m not of a 20-year-old mindset anymore; rather, I’m of a karateka mindset. Mind, body, and spirit will guide me in how to be, what to want, and what experiences have meaning for me.  Money can help give me peace of mind or comfort when I’m trying to focus on mind, body, and spirit, but it is not necessary.

I do earn some money through teaching martial arts, though not a lot.  It is the experience of teaching that really means something to me.  Over these last 30 years I have evolved from that time when I was in my 20’s and hoping to impress the world with the material me.  I’ve realized that I need very little to be happy.  Hand me a flower picked from the yard or one purchased from the florist and I’ll gladly smell either and put it in a vase.  Give me a gold bracelet or one you’ve weaved yourself and I’ll place it on my wrist.  Either way, I’m grateful for you.

I don’t expect you or the world to understand or even agree with my principles.  And, I hope fingers don’t point at me as a hypocrite when someday I show up with some jewelry and a fancy car. I didn’t say that I don’t like those things, just that they are not a priority for me.  When the kids move out and I have time and money, I expect to create the most magnificent experiences I can with what I’ve got.

I hope objects never mean more to me than experiences.  I hope I never again feel that I should impress others with the things that I have. I suppose here, in mid-life space, it makes sense.  Life is too short to seek happiness in the wrong place.  Wherever you are in your journey, my advice is to focus your efforts on creating the most meaningful life you can through challenges, experiences, self-expression, creativity, and balance.

I am a karateka who understands the value of struggle and the lessons of life.  No material objects can alter the struggle or amplify the lessons, make them any better or worse than they are.  I’m sure you can find a moment in your life that feels that way, too.  Buying something cannot cure your illness, change your mindset, make you happy, or even change your life for the better, but martial arts and a positive mindset can.

Focus your efforts to be an effective and powerful thinker and a conscientious and creative force.  You don’t need anything else to fill that space within and you won’t feel like you are living without.

I still have that great Gucci watch and the rings I bought and my teeth have been straight for quiet a while now.  None of these things has the same meaning it once did.  It is the moments in time that helped to define the truth and meaning of my life.

It’s a simple rule by which to live.  When you buy something, reflect.  Is this something you want because it will always mean something to you?  Is it something that will reward you for a job well done?  Is it something that will create an everlasting memory?  If so, don’t deprive yourself; but, don’t ever let “things” define you the way I once did because no matter what you have, you will end up short-changing your life.

I’ve learned my lesson on what’s important and why being a karateka means empty-hand both in martial arts and in my life.  With an empty hand, I can do more than I ever imagined.

What’s in your hand?  If material things supersede your values, turn them around so you can Win at Life.

Andrea