Being you isn’t easy, is it? There are responsibilities, commitments, and even a few obstacles in your life. Day in, day out, you think about what might happen next. Worry sets in and it creeps around your mind like a stalker on the Internet. Every doubt and every difficulty can get twisted out of proportion until you feel stressed, and wonder if you should even put forth the effort. Maybe just getting through the day without pushing yourself to achieve your hopes, dreams, or goals is enough.

I understand. There have been times in my life in the past when I thought that the mundane was better than taking risks. I easily accepted being the quiet person in a room of chaos. I never thought to push a barrier, or express an opinion, because someone might disagree or argue with me. I didn’t want to deal with that.

The truth is, when you start to limit yourself to the dreary thoughts in your head, when you never express yourself for fear of condemnation, or you hold back on seeking a dream because of fear of failure, you inhibit being you.  Prior to learning martial arts, I was like this. I don’t know why. I was on the shy side as a child. I liked being alone in my room with a guitar and a pencil and paper to write down my thoughts and songs. No one bothered me, and no one listened. But, it was peaceful and I was content, and there is nothing wrong with that.

But, as I grew older, I started to limit myself. Mediocrity was a lot easier than stepping out and risking failure.

As a child, when asked to run in gym class one day, I took off at a sprint. Feeling out-of-place, I looked around and saw no one else close by. I slowed down, thinking I left the start too quickly, or was running in the wrong direction. The truth was that I was simply faster than everyone else. Instead of engaging and accepting it, I convinced myself that there was no way I was faster than the others. That way, I would never have to actually race against someone else, or try to win. The easiest answer is that I simply did not believe in myself.

In order to fully be you, to really become a person who has confidence and grace,mental acuity, power and diligence, you must be ready to accept the challenge, and believe in yourself. This is a turning point for most people, and it was for me, too. Years passed since the running episode. Then, I stepped foot in the dojang, and the same thing almost happened. I almost hightailed it out of there, thinking I could never compete with those students. Fortunately, though, I changed my mind and decided to believe in myself. I decided that I would be a different person there than I was anywhere else. I would give 100% and not deny myself the opportunity to excel, and see what happened.

What changed in me? Part of it was maturity, and part of it was making a bold decision to take a risk. I had to put the fear of running too far ahead of where I thought I belonged, like in that gym class years earlier, in the back of my mind. That’s when things started to fall into place.

I realized that I was not living as the person I was meant to be. I found both internal power and potential. It took years to fill up all the empty holes inside, and by the time I received my black belt I emerged as a whole new person. I started to embrace the me I would have never gotten to know, if I had not pushed myself a little.

The best part is the confidence and appreciation that I carry with me every single day. I do not need to compare myself to others, unless I want to use them as a positive and encouraging mentor. Martial arts showed me that even though I was part of a group of like minds, all of whom practiced the same skills, philosophies, and techniques, that I was infinitely different from every single other practitioner.  I accepted who I was, and decided to define myself through the actions that my life was meant to take. Like following a lead in an investigation, I followed each goal to see where it would lead, and I stopped prematurely judging myself.

My personality started to reveal itself in my martial art, as much as my martial art revealed itself in my life. Ironically, in practicing forms, there were bursts of power, and moments of compassion, slow and steady compromise, and triumphant success, exactly the attributes by which I wanted to live my life. Everything that I ever felt about myself inside trickled forward into my practice.

As you read this, what thoughts enter your mind? Are you truly the person on the outside that you see on the inside? Lucky for you that you don’t have to wait for an awakening, or to awkwardly push yourself forward. I can be the one to stand behind you and give you the encouraging push that you need to become whatever or whomever you desire. It might be a profession, or it might be a change in mindset, but either follows the same concept. Both require a sense of self-belief and positivity that your life journey has precious merit, and is worthy of not just your consideration, but your action.

It is never too late, either. I started martial arts at age 27, and still actively practice at age 53. Age never holds me back. Every day of life is a day of opportunity.

I think that if you let your mind stop you, or tell you that you are not good enough, deserving, or smart enough, then you will never emerge into the person you would truly want to be. If you have a vision inside, see yourself in a certain atmosphere or circumstance surrounded  by a special group of people, or performing a talent, then it is time to think about what you really want. I’ve never met a person yet who doesn’t have a dream inside that has not been pushed aside, forgotten, or denied, because of mental negativity. There are always excuses, many valid, but the truth is that those who reach their dreams and goals always seem to find a way, even if resources are limited.

Martial arts practitioners  slowly find out who they really are, and start to apply those martial art concepts to their lives. They are just one example of how taking action in life helps them to become better versions of themselves. Success is not necessarily about making money. It is more about running ahead when given the chance, and never looking back.

xoxo

Andrea

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Andrea F. Harkins is a  writer, motivator, life coach, martial artist, and public speaker. Her book, The Martial Arts Woman, will be published soon and is available for pre-order (below).

Andrea is Internationally known for her positivity through martial arts efforts and outreach, and her writing. She is currently a columnist for Martial Arts Illustrated UK, The Martial Arts Guardian (UK), the World Martial Arts Magazine, MASUCCESS, Conflict Manager, Martial Arts Business (Austrailia), The Parrish Village News, and her blog, The Martial Arts Woman.  Contact her through this website’s CONTACT ME page for information on public speaking, autographs, and life coaching.

Order Andrea’s book, The Martial Arts Woman, here: http://www.themartialartswoman.com/book-pre-orders-martial-arts-woman/

The Martial Arts Woman, shares the stories and insights of more than twenty-five women in the martial arts, and how they apply martial arts to their lives. Unlike any other martial art book, the reader will catch a glimpse into the brave and empowered woman who dares to be all that she can be. Many had to overcome great societal or personal obstacles to just be allowed to practice. This book enlightens and inspires. After reading it, you will realize the power of the human spirit and the martial art mindset that dwells in all of us